Melting the ice
by LeeMinKyo
Summary: NOTE UP! A new chance to know each other. A new chance to discover what love is. It doesn t matter if you don t remember him. Sometimes you need to ignore your mind and listen to your heart.
1. Chapter 1

**MELTING THE ICE**

**Summary: **AU-post-NewMoon. Victoria kidnapped Bella to torture her and make Edward suffer. Something happens and everyone began to think that Bella is dead. Years after that Alice see something. A crowed street and a beautiful Bella with red eyes. She can´t remember her past and she´s living with an old woman who treats her like her granddaughter. What happened to her? Why can´t she remember? **  
Pairing: **Bella/Edward**  
Beta: **RingTheBella (Thank you so much for being my beta. This fanfics wouldn´t be here without your help!)

**VISUALS: **You can see the cover and future visuals in my profile.

**IMPORTANT NOTE:** To understand this fanfic is important that you know about a Little detail that is explained in "Breaking Dawn". It's not a big spoiler, but I think it's important to let you know about it before you read my fanfic. Even if this story is located between New Moon and Eclipse I will talk about that "special gift" that Bella has after becoming a vampire. If you haven't read BD and don't want to spoil yourself, maybe it's better that you don't read me.

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**Chapter 1**

_"Then I didn't know that, even if there's not a day when doesn't dawn,_

_if you can't wake up tomorrow never comes."_

**BELLA POV**

Time had flown away since the first time I saw Edward Cullen's eyes, and that time was the most wonderful, painful and passionate ever. My memories were a distillate mixture of bitter and sweet that satisfied all my senses.

The time until graduation was less and less, and that means that I would become a real member of Cullen's family before long. Just like Edward's fears because my fragile humanity, my own fears about growing old, the sweet closeness with my father's and my life in Forks will come to an end.

Everything in my life was divided in pros and cons. It didn't matter if it was love or life. Anyhow, I must to admit that on both counts the good things were more than the bad ones. Whatever happens in the future I would live forever with the person who I love the most, and nothing can be better than the feeling of knowing that. No more fears, no more hours in front of a mirror, fearing that all my life would pass like the blink of an eye.

Was it normal for a teenager to spend every day worrying about getting old?

No, it was not. Of course not. The sickly fear that that idea provoked had been living for months in my nightmares, hidden in all the gloomy and dark corners of my mind. Always and in every moment present in my life. My only comfort was a conversation with Carlisle. I fell down in the street, and of course I ended in the hospital. But it was a good chance to talk with him. He has the power to make you feel calm. He assured me that, if I was sure of my decision, he will change me after the end of our classes.

We both knew that Edward would protest until the last second. He didn't want me to abandon my stupid humanity. Even if it makes me a fragile and tempting thing that only attracts bad luck.

And those are the things that made me end up like this. I don't know exactly where I am, but I knew Victoria had captured me; even with all the efforts from Edward, his family and Sam's pack.

Seeing the light entering a little crack in the wall I can say that I have been here for two days. They were the worst and longest ones of all my life. There was no millimeter in my body that didn't hurt, and I already knew that my skin was covered of cuts and bruises. I understand now what Laurent meant in the meadow with his comment "Look at it this way, Bella. You're very lucky I was the one to find you."

Yes, there was no doubt. Victoria was enjoying a sadistic revenge in the most twisted way. I always thought that if this day came, Victoria would make me suffer a little bit and then kill me without a second thought. It seemed like I was wrong and she would kill slowly. Well, maybe she wasn't even thinking about killing me. Just torture me until I couldn't take it anymore.

The door's metallic creak made my body react with an uncontrollable shiver. I was so afraid, so scared… not because the pain, even though that scared me too. It was because I could die soon and never see Edward anymore. If I could make a wish before die, it would be this one: for a second, just for a minute, to feel the touch of his hand, like a nice hallucination.

"It looks like you're stronger than I thought," she taunted. "I would have bet you would only bear it for some hours, but I'm being gentler than you deserve." The knife she had was now in my face, the cutting edge touched my cheek with enough pressure to hurt me without cutting my skin. That pain was nothing compared with the past several hours. Anyone would have sworn that I was the one who killed James with my own hands considering how she was treating me.

"You can do whatever you want to me, but Edward will find you." Her vain laugh resounded with echo in the cold room.

"I am sorry to disappoint you, but right now they don't even know where look for you. I'm not as stupid as you believe. I know better than anyone that he will look for you everywhere so I took precautions. You would be surprised to know how easy the smell of a human disappears after a few hours of rain."

"Then they will be on the trail of your smell and that will lead them here." Those words were more of an attempt to convince myself than to scare her.

"You're so innocent… it's almost sweet." Her smile had wasn't sweet. "My smell is all around this forest, it would be impossible for them to know which trace is the right one. I can't wait to see that moment, when your vampire-lover discovers your dead body."

She moved the knife away and put her hand in the pocket of her fluffy, white jacket to search something. I was afraid to know what new torture was coming, something even worse than the past days, but it was a surprise to see a digital camera. "Let's send Edward a little gift. I'm sure he misses to see you, although… you're not at your best right now." She sickly enjoyed this situation, but I just could think how hard it would be for Edward to see me like this. I hope he can stay calm and not get himself in danger.

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Some days ago I lost track of time. I wasn't worried if it was morning or night or even if days passed. In my mind there was just enough space to beg for a fast death. The pain was driving me crazy. Sometimes, I woke up from my temporary loss of consciousness and for several minutes I didn't even remember where I was. Cry, laugh, talk to myself… there were no reason for my actions. My brain couldn't work more anymore, my body just barely fought against my wounds.

I would never believe in hell, there was nothing worse than this.

The humidity and cold made me shiver, and that was another torture for a body that hurt even while being still. Water was leaking through the walls and roof, making me soaking wet. I barely ate, just enough to be alive for her games. Victoria wanted to enjoy it for a long time.

If all that wasn't enough, the humidity and dirt attracted some rats. I didn't feel revulsion for them, that would have been silly, the worst part was that they were biting me. I was chained up to that chilly, wet wall, with shackles hurting my wrists and ankles, and the sick visits from Victoria. I didn't want to live if it would be like this. I knew they wouldn't find me and knowing that no one would save me I just… I just didn't want to fight anymore. I had no energy left, no hope… nothing made sense.

"You're no fun anymore." Victoria's voice was close to me, but it felt far away. "You're lucky, today is the end. Say your goodbyes."

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**10 YEARS LATER…**

**EDWARD PoV**

My life had been reduced to 17 years which I didn't enjoy like I should have done, and a little more than one year that I didn't value enough until I didn't have that person who made me happy. The time between those two periods was something monotonous and boring, but not completely bad. Now, after ten years without her, I felt like I was in hell.

I would have wished to die instead of being away from Bella, but the stupid and unrealistic hope that she could be alive somewhere was enough to keep me sane and searching her. I never saw her body, so even if everyone said that she was dead I couldn't believe that. Of course, I still had that awful picture where I could see an ashen, hurt and scared Bella. Her eyes begged me to rescue her, but that proof wasn't enough to make this man in love to hope for the impossible.

"She couldn't have resisted much more after this photo. The human body has its limits for the pain." Carlisle had said to me years ago.

"I stopped seeing her future after a week of her disappearance. We both know what that means. If she wasn't already dead she would have come back." Alice tried to reason with me.

They fought to convince me, but soon gave up. It was stupid to try to do that. Just like I spend months looking for her after Victoria kidnapped her, I would spend all my life doing the same thing until I was sure she was dead or alive.

When Alice had a vision of Victoria in a little alley close to Ottawa's theatre, where we were living now, my hopes grew excessively. She and Jasper pledged to come with me to meet her. My sister suffered a lot too. For the two first months of Bella's disappearance she was with Charlie most of the time, and the sight of that big and strong man crying hurt her too much. Now, all my family wanted revenge in Bella's name.

"In my vision I saw that she will be there in two hours, so there's no hurry… She was alone and thirsty. I think she will attack someone who is walking around there."

"I'm not doubting about your power, you know. But I want to be there before her."

"Yes, we should do that." Jasper said. "If we're there before she arrives, we can be prepared to attack her."

"We will catch her, believe me," she smiled with a little touch of sadness.

Less than twenty minutes after that we were in the street across from that alley. We could see it from a coffee shop. Of course, Alice was right and Victoria showed up. Hidden in the shadows she looked for a new prey. The street was less and less crowded, and the thought of how easy she could kill someone there made me angry. Alice and Jasper looked at each other and then at me. There was no need to use my power, I already knew that it was the moment to act. I was looking forward it.

The thought of being face to face with the woman that hurt the person who I love made me growl like an animal. I couldn't stop myself. I was thinking about all the things that she could have done to Bella, and the pain in my chest was incrased. I wanted to destroy that woman – if she can be called that – and make her suffer more than she did to Bella. Even if Bella was alive – an option that was nearly impossible – I wanted to punish Victoria. Yes, there was no real reason to believe that Bella was alive. Why would Victoria keep her alive for ten years without contacting me? I was who she wanted to punish by hurting her, then it didn't make sense to hurt her without letting me know it. That was hurting me more than any other thing, I was responsible of all this. The hunt which James put her through, Victoria's cruel revenge...

Jasper and I looked at each other, and rapidly we split to be able to surround her. Alice just moved to my side and observed that nobody could be able to see us. It was so easy to catch her that it almost made me sad. I would have liked things to be harder so I could have frightened her. In less than two minutes Jasper grasped her and almost had her immobilized. Alice growled in a threatening way and I just wanted to torture her to discover everything I wanted to know.

"It took you longer than I thought it would. You weren't really interested in your love's search." Even if she was making fun of me, it didn't matter. The only bad thing she could do to me was already done.

"Where is she? Where do you lock her up?" I asked.

"Let me see… It happened long time ago. Oops! I can't remember." She laughed in a exaggerated way.

"What did you do to her?" Jasper's scream surprised me. I wasn't expecting this type of reaction, I thought he came here because of Alice. He used more strength and Victoria's bones made a cracking sound.

"Are you sure you want to know it?" She smiled with a sadistic face. "Where should I start my story? Knifes? Blows? No, no… the rats. It was so sweet to hear her sob like a baby while they ate her alive." Once more her smile and laugh made me growl.

_Stay calm, Edward._ My sister tells me in her mind. _She only wants to provoke you. If you act like this then she will have what she wants._

"She didn't even beg for her life, only asked twice to kill her. I must to say that she was stronger than I thought. I expected her to die faster. There was a moment when it was boring to torture her…"

"What did you do to her?" My voice resounded in that alley. Before I was aware of it my body was moving to hit her and I used so much strength that Jasper had to hold her with more force. Pain and wrath were mixed up in my veins like revenge in its purest form. "Tell me what the hell you did to her?"

"I already said it, but if you want me to give you more details…"

I felt how Alice's mind was trying to block the memories of some visions humming a silly song for kids in Hebrew. The first days of Bella's disappearance she suffered a lot with visions of Victoria doing all type of things to Bella, but she always blocked them one way or the other so I couldn't really see them. Some parts of those visions escaped from her mind when she was distracted, but I was sure they were only little things. Even so, to see the truth and hear the painful pants of Bella would be something that I will never forget.

"This isn't a game." I tell her while putting one hand around her throat and squeezing. Her eyes had a funny spark because my reaction. Anyone would have sworn that she was masochistic, enjoying that pain because she knew that I was suffering even more.

"It hurts to lose what you love the most, right? It was even worse for her, believe me."

I felt how my body became more and more tense with every word she said, but before I could lose my control and destroy her, Alice put her hand on my shoulder and to get ahead of me to be face to face with Victoria.

"You killed her, right?"

I was afraid of that question.

But I wanted to hear the answer.

"Someone could say that I did it and someone could say that I did not."

"Don't play games. I know she's dead!"

"Oh, right. You're the little witch who can see everything. Well, it seems to me like your powers aren't that good. Laurent had heard from Irina that you were almost infallible. I suppose this is the exception." That affirmation was a straight punch to Alice's heart. Jasper growled at those words and it the prison of his arms became even tighter. It must to hurt more than she wanted to show off, but a moan mixed up with a growl escaped her chest. "You can kill me if you want, but I will not say a word."

"Don't give me ideas."

_Edward, this makes no sense. She will tell us nothing, I've seen it._ Once more Alice's thoughts burst in my mind.

"Are you sure?"

_Believe me; I used all my energy to see this. Even if we torture her, she will not change her mind._

I couldn't be rational about this. Victoria was the only clue we had to know where to find Bella. Alive or… I couldn't even think about the other option. If I killed her now, then there wouldn't be power on the earth that would solve this terrible doubt. It didn't matter what the truth was, I couldn't forget Bella. But, at least, if I knew the truth about what happened to her I would have a little peace. Even with all those thoughts, I believed in Alice and I knew that she was right.

"Let's end this. We need to go somewhere else."

Victoria growled while trying to escape from Jasper's arms, but it was stupid. Jasper was stronger than he normally shows. When she heard my words, her apparent docility disappeared and she tried to run away. Once more it was useless. The moment of my revenge was here.

All my pain, sadness, agony and hate would be the last thing she feels. Everything she did to Bella would be paid with interest. This way, even if I can't really be forgiven for my sins, I would get revenge in Bella's name.

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**5 YEARS LATER…**

**A little town in Canada.**

**(Eira PoV)**

It was snowing so much that it was hard to see between the snowflakes. Winter was hard in this part of the country and it made things harder for the people living here. Well, there wasn't many people here and it hardly can be called a "town". Three houses were distributed along 10 km and the closest city was 40 km away. When a blizzard lasted longer than 2 days, all the houses were isolated.

"Eira, can you bring some wood from the storage outside?"

"Of course."

"Don't forget to take a jacket."

"I don't need it… I never get cold."

"Oh, that's right. I will never get used to that." The nice old woman smiled while she stirred something that was on the stove. Before she could say anything more, the young woman was there once more, but with a lot of wood in her hands and humming something that was similar to a lullaby. "I can't understand why you like that song so much. It's beautiful, but…"

"It's the only thing that I remember. For some reason I love to hear it, even if I must you sing it myself."

"My poor snowflake. That name was really a good one for you. You're cold and beautiful like a snowflake, but when someone gives you a little warmth you slowly melt. Sometimes I think it was better for you to forget everything. I hope you never remember whatever your mind wanted to forget."

_Even if I never sleep sometimes I daydream. I dream about a melody that someone made for me. I dream about lips that loved me. I dream about the day when I discover who I am. Please, whoever you are don't forget me… I can't remember you._

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**A/N: Eira is a Welsh name and it means snow.**

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I would really appreciate if you leave a review. This is my second fanfic in English, if people isn´t interested I will not write more (xD I don´t want to bore you all) Pretty please?


	2. Chapter 2

Wow! I´m really really happy with all the reviews. You girls are so sweet!

Thank you: E M Starrsong, ZooeyD, RoaslieHale, Jits, atej, chris, Bouclette7, mrscullenx05, Lawsu89, Jasper´sdarksoul, MAYYY, oo2uniq4uoo and Meg. Your reviews made me *so* happy and give me the energy to work faster. :D

And of course, all my love forever to my beta _RingTheBella_ who was amazingly fast with this chapter. Thank you girl, this fanfic wouldn´t be here without you. Please girls, calps for her!

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**CHAPTER 2**

_"Death doesn__'t come with old age, but with oblivion."_

**EIRA PoV**

I wanted to be able to remember what I have forgotten, because there is no deeper pain than not to have a life that talks about the road you went through. Despite being immortal – and I knew that because some haphazard accidents – in my memory I was about 15 years old. I only could remember that time.

My first memory was a deep and painful burning running through my entire body like red-hot embers. The feeling was indescribable and horrible. When my body reacted and I was able to open my eyes I was in the middle of a dense forest. I didn't recognize it and my mind was blank. There was no one around me.

The ignorance of my own body was funny. I was so fast that running over 100 km in less than 30 minutes wasn't hard for me. My senses were so acute that I could localize a herd of deer even if they were 12 km away. Even though my body wanted blood, when I feed on them I didn't have enough.

What was that thing my body asked for and why I didn't understand it?

The answer to that question was solved the next day, when I passed by a little town in the mountains. A sweet and mouth-watering smell made my throat catch fire suddenly. A young girl with dark hair and tanned skin was walking alone. It was evening but there was no one around. I looked around to be sure, but I only detected some people far enough away that they would not to see me if I was fast. All my body exploded like an eruption of lava, burning every inch of my cold skin.

I wanted that human. I wanted her blood. Before I was aware of what I was doing, I ran to her, dragging her to the outskirts of town. There she was, face to face with me, shaking like a leaf, begging with her eyes for me not to kill her, asking herself why she chose that short-cut to her house instead of the normal road.

"Ple-plea-se don't-don't…" she stammered frightened to death.

A part of me felt sorry for that young girl who wasn't older than 20 years. Her bad luck made her cross my way. But the other part – the bigger one – wanted to surrender to the future pleasure of tasting her sweet blood. I knew that would be enough to calm the fire in my throat.

Slowly I came closer to her and bit her soft neck trying not to hurt her so much, but when that first blood's drop touched my tongue the desire made me lose control. I wanted more, I couldn't have enough. That sweet refreshing feeling in my throat was heaven. That was the best moment of my short life, but nothing last forever. The girl fell to the ground and the guilt invaded my chest.

I was ashamed of myself. I didn't know why, but that wasn't right. I shouldn't do that. She was alive, she had a family, she was so young… It was wrong to take away all the only because I wanted her blood.

After that I tried really hard to feed on animals, not humans. In the end, it didn't matter. My nature was stronger and won most of the time… until my life changed.

I roamed around USA and Canada for twelve years and little by little I was able to control my bloodlust. I can't say my control was perfect; every now and then I came across a tempting human. Besides, even if I feed on humans, there were times when I would feel weak and only the human blood made me feel strong.

Time continued to pass by until I discovered the little town where Elisabeth lives. She was like a soulful grandmother for me now. After many troubles and days of roaming around the snow-covered forests – weak and with no animals near – her smell touched my nose.

It wasn't especially delectable, but neither unpleasant. With utmost difficulty I walked driven by the bloodlust, hoping it would give me enough strength to run to other city and then became fully satiated.

When I saw her in front of me, old, grey-headed, with a soft look in her eyes and a warm smile on her lips I lost my composure.

"Ey there, young lady. What are you doing here? Aren't you cold?"

"I …" my voice sounded like a growl and I was sure my eyes were black as carbon.

They always drew people's attention. When my thirst was strong my eyes became black, I didn't know why. Humans were different, this didn't happen to them. It was one of those things that I would never understand.

The woman wasn't scared even if I was the most terrific thing she saw in all her life.

"It's ok. Come in and warm yourself. Are you lost?" she came close to me with steady steps and put her warm arm around my shoulders. "You're so cold. Hurry up, let's come in."

She made me sit down on a chair in front of the fire – something pointless for me – but I couldn't explain to her the reasons why she shouldn't be doing that. What was strange for me was the fact that I wasn't already biting her. I was so thirsty. Maybe, I thought, it was because her smell wasn't really good and she was the first human being nice to me.

"It would be better if I go away." I wanted to save her from myself, I would feel bad killing one of those animals I could hear in the stables, but a cow would be better than this woman.

"You can't do that. It's snowing. Stay here with me until the weather is better and then you can go. I'm still asking myself how the hell you arrived to this remote town."

"Believe me… it will be better if I leave. Better for you."

My plea sounded more like a threat, but she smiles once more and stoked the fire. If she would have known what I was, I'm sure she would be screaming and throwing whatever she can at me to save her life. Instead of that, she spoke and surprised me.

"I don't really know a lot about you. I only saw one when I was young, but he was gentle and saved me. He was cold, pale and beautiful like you… and just like you he was fighting to flee away from me." She laughed softly. "Are you hungry?"

Everything was wrong. She was the one supposed to be scared, but it was me who screamed weakly at her words. Elisabeth laughed even more as if she had done a little prank. I liked that, it was so nice to see someone who wasn't scared of me that I wanted to hug that chubby waist and burst out crying. I had been alone for years and this type of treatment was foreign to me.

"I suppose you don't eat eggs or meat, right?"

"I… No, I don't eat… that." I doubted how to answer that so I didn't scare her off. "I don't think you will want to know what I eat."

"Oh…" she didn't seem to give importance to my words. "I'm not easy to scare off, young lady. I've lived for a long time. Always alone. I know things aren't always like they seem."

"Do you know what I am?"

"I think so."

"And… Aren't you scared? People are always scared of me, and I don't blame them."

"I don't think I'm really appetizing. Even if they say _for a good appetite there is __no__hard bread, __I'm a very, very hard bread." once more she laughed without fearing me. I felt as if this conversation was a strange déjà vu, but there were no memories to compare. "So tell me, what is your name?"_

_"I don__'t know… No one needed to call me for the past twelve years."_

_For the first time she looked at me with a surprised look, but I could see how that feeling was mixed with something like sadness. Walking away from the fire and she put her hand on my cheek without feeling repulsed by the coldness of my skin._

"That is the saddest thing I ever heard, dear. No one in this world can live without a name. If you don't have one, how are people supposed to call you when they need to do it? We need to find a good name for you, but first of all we need to feed you. Tell, what do you eat?" she looked at me at the eyes, without fear and with a touch of pity sparkling in her iris. She wanted the truth and I hoped that truth wouldn't scare her.

"Blood… animal or… human." I closed strongly my eyes waiting for a scream or her hand moving away from my cheek, but there was no reaction. Still a little confused I opened my eyes just to find a soft and pure smile.

"Well… you have perfect timing. Soon the hardest part of winter will start and I need to butcher one of my cows to have meat in the freezer. I don't know if you eat something like that, but it's the best thing I can offer you."

"Miss …" I started to say, but she interrupted me.

"Elisabeth. Please, call me Elisabeth."

"Elisabeth…"- I started once more feeling insecure. "Are you sure you understand what I am?"

A strong and loud laugh resounded in the small house. My comment seemed to be funny for her. For me it was weird to see how I was the only one scared of her reactions and not the other way around.

"Should I run and beg for my life? I'm too old to run in this snow, and I'm sure you will catch me. I had a long and happy life so it's ok. And I can say that, if you wanted, you would have killed me already. You're the one who looks scared of me."

And just like that my new life started.

A weird story that, every now and then, we remembered together with a little smile in our faces. I came across the weirdest and bravest woman in the world. She was my first lucky strike.

Since that moment until now we lived together and it would be like that while she accepted me. We were an odd family, but a happy one. We both helped each other. She teaches me about the world and the humans. I helped her with the works that, because her age, she couldn't do anymore. Besides, I went every now and then to the city to buy whatever we needed, and at the same time – without saying to her about it – to feed myself. I was a hypocrite to act like that, living like an human with Elisabeth but letting my inner monster to come out where no one could say a thing about it.

x.x.x.x.x.x

**Vancouver (Canada)**

**Alice PoV**

Easter holidays gave Rosalie and me the perfect excuse to go shopping together for a whole weekend. We loved to stock ourselves with new clothes and lastly high school didn't let us have a break. The reason why our teachers were so adamant about giving us so many school assignments was still a mystery for me. Of course, we can do them as quick as a wink, but even so it was extremely boring.

"I want to go to this new store downtown. The website was amazing and they have some beautiful clothes."

"Rosalie, we'll go to all of them. Don't worry. It was a great idea to come here without the boys."

"Since the last time I had the *great* idea of going shopping with Emmett, I lost my interest about repeating the experience. Sometimes I'm still surprised what a little kid he is even with the big body he has."

We walked toward those crowed streets. It was a little strange to see that many people being outside on a cold snowy day. It was nice to enjoy a normal and relaxed day with Rosalie. To be at home, around Edward, was sad and depressing. Always living like a shadow of what he had been in the past, with his mind feasting sickly on the pain of Bella's loss. It hurt me too, I never knew this type of feeling before, but for Edward it was more than that. He was drowning in those dark feelings.

"Are you seeing something?" Rosalie waved her hand in front of my eyes.

"No, no. Sorry. I was thinking about Edward."

"Ah. I hope he get over it soon. It hurts me to see him like that. What happened to Bella was a calamity, but letting his life pass him by is not right."

"I don't think that you can get over something like that. If I put myself in his place, if I lost Jasper my pain would be enough to drive me crazy."

"Maybe you're right. I don't know."

I wanted to keep talking with her but something made me stop. In my mind, the images started to pass like a movie. The electricity that always went through my body when I had a vision flowed freely.

And then I saw her.

For the first time since she disappeared 15 years ago, more beautiful than her own name, more delicate than anyone of my family, with a happy look in her face and the same horrible out of fashion type of clothes. She was walking slowly in the same street we were now, just 500 meters ahead. I saw a little store signboard with a digital clock that indicated date and time. It was one of those that displayed the numbers in red. Tomorrow, at 5:19 pm.

"I saw her" her eyes were wide open when she looked at me confused. With a gracious movement she looked around trying to understand who I was talking about. "Bella… I saw Bella."

"What?"

"I had a vision."

"But, didn't you say that you can't see her anymore? We thought she was dead. Are you sure she was the one you saw?"

"Yes, it was her," my voice left my throat as a joyful scream. It was the first time I couldn't believe in my own visions. It was so surprising and happy that my own heart wanted to beat again. "I need to call Edward. Oh my god. We need to call everyone!"

With my hands shaking like never before I took my phone and dialed my brother's number. I knew perfectly well what this meant. She wasn't human anymore, she was one of us. But I knew better than give him that information on the phone. I would wait until we were face to face.

"Edward?"

"Hi Alice. How is the shopping going?"

"Edward. Please, sit down."

"What? What happened?"

"I will tell you something that will turn your legs into jelly and make you want to come here running as fast as you can."

"You're scaring me. What's happening? Please, tell me."

"I saw Bella." A deep silence was everything I could hear. I could imagine his face in this moment: surprise, incredulity and panic. "I had a vision. She will be here, in Vancouver, tomorrow in the evening. At 5:19 pm. If you fly here right now you will be able to be here tonight."

"Are you… sure?"

"I'm so sure I could start singing in the middle of this crowed street."

"I will see you at the airport tonight." He said no more and hung up the phone. His anxiety and mine couldn't be the same, but I just needed to multiply mine by ten to know how it was for him. Tomorrow would be one of those days we will remember forever. I knew that much.

**TBC…**

Reviews are my food… I can´t live neither write if I´m hungry. *puppy eyes* Don´t you want me to work faster? Then, please review!


	3. author note

Hi girls!

**This is one of those boring author´s note.**

I´m sorry about the delay of chapter 3. U_U It seems that my beta abandoned me. lol. But my sweet Rosanna (my Forgotten´s beta) adopted this story. I already sent her the chapter 3 and she is quite fast, hard-working and amazing... so I promise you will read the next chapter soon.

Thank you so much for all the reviews (I will reply them in the next chapter) and sorry for this delay. :D

**PS: **Rosanna told me the visuals on my profile had the wrong url so people couldn´t saw them. I already fixed them ~


	4. Chapter 3

Hi girls! I´m sooo sorry about the delay. If you read the note you know all the reasons sooo… I promise the next chapters will be posted faster than this one. :D My new beta Rosanna is an amazing girl.

**THANK YOU SO MUCH ROSANNA** for accept being my beta for this fanfic and how sweet your comments are. Your work as my beta is so amazingly nice that it makes me want to write more and more and more. All my love forever for you, because without you this fanfics wouldn´t be here. You´re the English part of my mind.

**NOTE:** _Go to my profile for 2 new visuals_. :D

x.x.x.x.x

**CHAPTER 3**

**Edward PoV**

I must have been dreaming. I wasn´t lucky enough to believe this was happening. Of course I would never bet against Alice´s visions, but this would be the perfect example for that _"see to believe_" saying. The most absolute happiness was mixed with my biggest fear. If this hope was false, there wouldn´t be human – or vampire – force strong enough to save me from the bottomless pit where I was.

I almost killed the girl working at the airport counter when she said there were no more tickets for Vancouver´s flight. Thank Heaven Carlisle and Esme were there to talk with the girl and get some seats on the airplane. Every member of my family wanted to come with me. They were really excited about the news and desperate by how slow the time moved.

The moment we reached Vancouver´s airport I felt nervous and scared. My eyes looked for Alice, wanting to see in her eyes that all the things she said to me were true. But it was Esme who spoke as soon as she saw my sister.

"Alice, what happy news you give us!" Esme was almost as enthusiastic as me. It was hard for her to see me living like a zombie who never smiled in the last years.

"I´m the happier one, believe me. Well, the second one." She looked at me with bright eyes. If I didn´t know it was impossible, I would have sworn she was about to cry. "How are you, Edward?"

"Nervous," I admitted without shame.

"It´s late and there is a lot of time. We reserved rooms at Capital Sky. It would be better if we go there, leave the luggage and talk about all this."

Today, more than ever, I wanted to sleep. Lie down in a warm bed and sleep until 3 or 4 pm. Let the time fly until I could see her face to face. I needed to look at those beautiful eyes to believe she was alive, but time was very slow and my patience small right now.

One question was resonating inside my head. If she was alive, why didn´t she look for me? Or if she didn´t want to be with me, why didn´t she look for her parents? Alice told me that Charlie had no news about his daughter and he believed her dead. It was hard for my sister to talk with him because she knew it was like opening old wounds for Charlie.

Why would Bella do this?

The last time I was with her she was in love with me, just as much as I was in love with her. We wanted to spend all of eternity together, even if I wasn´t really happy with the change required for that eternity. But now I was discovering she was alive, Alice said so, and for some unknown reason she kept me away and didn´t show interest in looking for me.

"Edward, can we talk for a little bit?" Alice asked shyly entering my room. I could see how hard she was working to hide her thoughts.

"Of course. What happened?"

"Well, there´s something about my vision I didn´t say."

"I imagined something like that. It wasn´t very normal how you were reading over 'War and Peace' in your mind." She smiled knowing I had caught her, but her face changed in a second. Her look was serious and that made me know I wouldn´t like what she was about to tell me.

"Do you want me to tell you or show you?"

"Show it to me, please."

A noisy sigh left her lips right before my head was filled with her vision. I trembled when I saw the face of my love. Bella was walking slowly with a gentle smile on her face. But her face was different. My eyes widened and snapped shut at lightning speed. I could recognize that change. Her skin was perfect, her body moved with a grace that would make Alice jealous and everything about her was more beautiful than before. Her human beauty was nowhere to be found. There was no warmth or clumsiness in her.

Someone passed her by and Bella licked her lips when the smell touched her nose. It was then when I realized the color of her eyes.

Red.

She was a vampire, and fed on humans.

When the vision ended I held my breath while I assimilated the information. I could understand now why she never went to her parents, but I couldn´t understand why she didn´t come to us. Anyhow, that wasn´t important right now. My mind was working on how she became a vampire, and the easiest answer was a name.

Victoria.

"Are you ok?" Alice put her hand on my shoulder as a comforting gesture. Everyone knew I never wanted Bella to become one of us. To be a monster like me wasn´t what I wanted for her. These were the consequences of letting her come to my dark world.

"If I would have known this, Victoria would have suffered so much more. I can´t understand why she did it. Her revenge was to take Bella away from me." Then I thought about my own words. "Do you think Victoria did something to Bella so she couldn't contact us? Maybe blackmail her with killing her family or… I don´t know. Nothing makes sense."

"I don´t know. It doesn´t make sense for me either. I don´t even know why I never saw Bella in my visions. If I had seen her before…"

"It´s not your fault. I´m glad you found her now. If it wasn´t for you I would never know she was alive. Even if I wanted to lie to myself, a part of me thought she was dead."

"At least you will have an eternity to spend with her now. I hope you don´t keep her all to yourself." Her laugh made me feel better. After all, that little elf kept reminding me why she was my favorite sister.

x.x.x.x.x

**Eira/Bella PoV**

I breathed calmly when we left Elisabeth´s house in the small car she bought for our trips to the city. This would be the first time in 1 month since I went farther than 30 km, and I only did it to hunt. I missed seeing other sceneries. After a lot of arguing, she promised to come with me to Vancouver. It was the second time, since we were together, that she accepted to come.

The only bad thing about this was I would have to disappear with some excuse to feed myself. I didn´t want Elisabeth to know about this dark side. She was amazingly good with me, but I knew she wouldn´t accept me in her house knowing I kill people.

"Oh! I think I didn´t put out the fire. We should go back."

"Don´t look for excuses." I laughed knowing the stupid fear she had about leaving her house. "I´m surprised you´re so brave for some things and so afraid of other ones."

"It´s not… fear. I just… I don´t like big cities. There are a lot of people, a lot of dangers."

"Dangers? You live with someone who can kill you if she´s thirsty. You´re so funny."

"Whatever, but the city still seems more dangerous to me than a young lady who almost ran away the first time she saw me. I´m not that ugly. Just old."

We both smiled thinking of the nice memories. After a while she seemed to relax and began to play with the radio. I loved classical music; it was better than modern music. Elisabeth and I were similar in that sense. We had to be on the road for 2 hours so I was glad about that. It would be hell to have to listen to some horrible pop that humans liked so much.

At 1:05 pm we arrived to Vancouver. The trip was nice and the weather didn´t make it hard for us. We were really lucky, since the radio was announcing that the snowstorms would stop for one week.

"I don´t understand why you love to come here so much." I was surprised Elisabeth didn´t complain sooner.

"I like to see so many people together. You know I love to be with you, but it´s nice to see other people too."

It was true, I enjoyed the crowded streets. Feeding myself wasn´t the only reason to come to Vancouver. I wanted to walk around the big streets, enjoying the feeling of being a normal person or at least knowing people would think that.

"It´s ok, it´s ok. You´re still young. If you were old like me you would understand how lucky I feel because we live far away from here."

"Ok, we´ve complained enough today," I joked. "Now let´s buy all the things we need."

I took out the paper that was in my pocket. The list of things we wrote there was really long. First, we went to gardening stores looking for some tools Elisabeth needed to take care of her little greenhouse. After that we gathered the vitamins for the animals. One by one we finished the list of assignments. I looked at the clock that was in the front of a store. Time passed fast, as it was almost 5:10 pm.

"We have got everything, and faster than I thought," I said happily. There was no rush, we didn´t need to go back home until 7:00 pm or so.

"Since we´re here we should buy you some new clothes. You´re way too beautiful to use those old clothes."

Her eyes roamed around my body and, like a reflex action, I looked at my mirror image on the window shop. I didn´t understand what was so bad about my clothes. They were comfortable. I loved the sweaters Elisabeth knitted for me. She was a master with all those handmade things. It made me feel special to know that most of my clothes were made by her.

"But…"

"No complaints, young lady. Let this poor old woman enjoy. I want to see you wearing something really beautiful and new."

There was a little prick in my dead heart. Something like a déjà vu. The fact that she wanted to change my appearance felt nice, much to my surprise. "There is a beautiful store on the next street. Let´s go."

I walked at her side with a smile on my face. Anyone who saw us together would think she was my grandmother and we were enjoying a normal evening together. Even if we didn´t share the same blood, for me she was my family. She was better than family.

All of a sudden I felt a knot in my stomach. I held my breath and something inside of me began to hurt without knowing the reason, but there was a feeling telling me to keep going. It was as if something was attracting me.

"It´s 5:18 pm. She should be coming soon," I heard a high-pitched female voice say from far away.

x.x.x.x.x

**Edward PoV**

Just two more minutes. I almost felt my heart beating in my chest. Inside my head the same words sounded over and over.

_I want to see her._

_I want to see her._

_I want to see her._

_I want to see her._

"It´s 5:18 pm. She should be coming soon." Alice´s voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked nervously at the clock. In the exact moment the numbers changed, the surprise of a new hope inundated my heart. 5:19 pm.

I remembered the exact place where Bella appeared in Alice´s vision. I was disappointed for a second, but 10 seconds later my world began to spin around me and everything was an insignificant blur. I only had eyes for her. So real, so close to me, so alive… even if it wasn´t literally. Her smile was exactly the same. Warm, as when she was human.

I wanted to move closer, but my body couldn´t move. I screamed in my mind for my legs to move, but they didn´t obey me. I was there, seeing how she came closer and then her shoulder collided into mine. For a second she stopped and looked at me with a strange look on her face. She was confused, I could feel it.

My own confusion attacked me when she turned around and walked away from me.

"Eira, are you ok?" an old woman asked with a worried voice.

"Yeah. Yeah." She seemed doubtful.

I didn´t understand it. Not at all. Could she really pretend not to know me and act like a stranger? Who was that old woman and why was she calling her Eira? Why was that human acting so sweetly with a vampire? Terror made me shake while asking myself those questions. That and the horrible thought of seeing her walking away until I couldn´t see her in this crowded street.

"Bella." I hailed her but there was no answer. "Bella!" Once more there was no reply. "Bella!" This time she did turn to see me, but most of the people were doing the same thing. Our eyes met and her confusion grew.

I was trying to hold back my desire to hug her, but this time I couldn´t do it. I ran to her at lightning speed, without caring if someone realized it, and put my arms around her little body.

I had been lost for 15 years and I found my home in that exact moment.

**TBC…**

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	5. Chapter 4

I know, I know… it took a lot of time to give you this chapter, but with all the Eclipse stuff and all the mistakes I made (really girls, **you need to thank my beta Rosanna** for all her hard work, because this chapter was amazingly bad written before she did her magic.)…

**THANK YOU SO MUCH **ROSANNA for being my beta even when I give you so much work. I will never be able to love you enough. THANKS! And that promised shirtless Jasper will be in your bed this week, I swear! 3

**REPLIES FOR THE REVIEWS AFTER THE CHAPTER!**

x.x.x.x.x.x

**CHAPTER 4**

"_The memory is the companion of remorse"_

**Edward PoV**

The feeling of how cold she was in my arms was odd. I always remembered the warmth of her skin as a personal pleasure. Fire melting the ice. Now it was different, of course it was, but nice at the same time. To use all my force to hug her little body, not to worry about how hard it was to control my desire for her sweet blood, not to fight against my inner beast that wildly screamed for me to take her life.

"Let go of me!" That scream made me open my eyes fast enough to let me see how her hands were pushing me away. My confusion grew little by little.

"Bella…" I whispered, feeling lucky to be able to say her name in front of her once more.

"Excuse me." The old woman moved closer until she was between us and grasped Bella´s wrist in a protective way. "Do you know her?" Her question surprised me, but the curious tone of her voice denoted she wasn´t threatening. She only wanted to know.

"She is… a member of our family." Alice said. _"Don´t act precipitately. There is something weird. Don´t you see the oddness in Bella´s eyes?"_ Her voice came softly to my mind. She was right, Bella looked confused and a little scared at the same time. As if she didn´t know us.

"What? I think… I think you´re wrong." Her nervousness grew at every minute, but when that old woman moved to her side and took her hand she instantly relaxed. The woman had some type of influence on her that I didn´t disliked. She protected her like a mother, but at the same time it was as if she trusted us.

"Don´t worry, Eira. Maybe they really know you." She smiled at Bella trying to calm her more.

"Bella, don't you remember us?"

Like an answer to Alice´s question Bella shook her head and looked at me. Did she recognize me? Was she acting for some unknown reason? I was going crazy with all these questions without answers and the way she was looking at me as if I was a stranger who was trying to fool her. She never looked at me like that before. And it hurt like hell.

"Don´t you remember Forks? Your parents? Our family?" continued my sister, but the only answers were little movements of Bella´s head denying it again and again. This was my worst nightmare coming true. A world where I could remember everything about her but she couldn´t remember me.

I couldn´t look at her anymore. That soft scared glint in her eyes stabbed me over and over until I couldn´t breathe. Without even realizing it I became so enervated that the only thing I could do to calm myself was start to hum the lullaby I made for her.

x.x.x.x.x

**Eira / Bella PoV**

It was weird. Really weird. I couldn´t remember their faces, nor their voices, nor the things they were talking about, but they treated me with such familiarity… they didn't seem dangerous, I will admit that much. The girl was beautiful, talked sweetly to me and smiled every time our eyes met. The boy looked at me with a reverence that made me feel nervous and scared. I wanted them far away from me, whether I knew them or not, but then something made my feelings change.

He was humming the only thing I could remember. The lullaby.

"Where did you hear that song?" I moved closer until I could feel his breath on my face.

"Do you remember it? I composed it for you."

The happy glint in his eyes warmed me. I was confused by the odd contradiction of my body and my mind. While one of them wanted me to run away and ignore all they said, the other one begged me to believe them and know about that past they were talking about. One thing was true, he knew the song that was my only memory and that gave him points.

"That´s good, Eira. They seem to know you." She smiled, letting them know that she believed their words.

"All the members of our family are eager to see you. You don´t know how much we missed you. We thought you were dead."

"Alice." He scolded her. "I don´t think this is the best moment to talk about that." His face became softer when he looked at me and took my hands between his. "I don´t know exactly what is happening, but if you forgot everything I would love to be the one who gives you your memories back. Trust me, I´m so happy that I´ve found you that nothing else matters."

"I´m…" I released my hands from his. "I´m sorry, but I can´t remember you." I surprised myself admitting with my words that I believed them. After that I moved away, scared of my own conviction and waiting for Elisabeth to comfort me. She understood me and put her arm around my back, caressing it up and down. I always became a little girl when I was with her. And I loved it. The feeling of being protected and cherished like that was amazing for me.

"It´s ok, Bella. Now that we´ve found you everything will be ok. Oh! We didn´t introduce ourselves. I´m Alice Cullen and this is my brother Edward. Nice to meet you." She approached us with feline movements and gave us two kisses.

"I know this can be impolite, but… What the hell! You´re the same as her, right?" After hearing Elisabeth´s words the boy, Edward, opened his eyes wide. The girl, Alice, didn´t change at all. And me, well, I smiled. Elisabeth was like that, direct and transparent. It reminded me about our own first meeting. "Well, it´s a stupid question. I can see it. You´re too beautiful to be human, just like my little girl."

There was an uncomfortable silence. I could see that the topic of what we were never was spoken so openly. With that tense atmosphere we looked at each other, although Alice and Elisabeth were looking at each other with a confidence that made me jealous.

"I don´t want to break this beautiful moment," the girl said with light irony, "but we would like to invite you to our hotel. As I said before all of our family wants to see you. Maybe seeing them can help you to remember." Before we could say a word, she took our hands and with a big smile she began to pull.

It was the weirdest day of my life. And my life had been very weird.

To understand what it was that made me trust two strangers who assaulted me in the street, saying that they knew me, was impossible. In my short life, at least the little I could remember, the oddest and unexplainable things had constituted the greater part of everything, so there was no reason to question what was happening now. Something told me to trust them. Elisabeth was already doing it, and that was more than enough for me. Until now all the advice and actions of that woman changed my life for the better.

Lost in my thoughts I didn´t realize the exact moment when a big hotel appeared in front of us. They must be rich; I doubt a normal person could even pay for the parking. They guided us all the way to one of the rooms on the top floor. When the doors opened, the beauty of all the people in there burned my retinas. Three men and two women, beautiful as if they had a pact with the devil, looked at me at the same time.

I swear I could feel their eyes roaming around my skin.

"Please, come in. Bella, this is our family." Everyone looked at Alice with a confused face.

"It has been a long time, but I don´t think it´s enough for her to not recognize us. Bella is slow, but not stupid." One of those boys, the bigger and muscled one, talked with a teasing tone. Oddly that didn´t bother me. It was almost nice.

"Bella, we're ecstatic with the happiness of being able to see you again face to face. We suffered a lot thinking you were dead. Oh sweety! I still can´t believe you´re here." The older woman came closer and hugged me lovingly.

"Before all of you become more excited you should give her more time. For some reason," it seemed hard for him to speak, "she can´t remember us. She doesn't know who we are."

"What are you saying, Edward?" The same woman looked at me with a mix of confusion and sadness.

"I´m sorry." It was the only thing I could say. I was feeling overwhelmed by all the information, people and feelings directed at me. I wanted to share the happiness they were showing for seeing me, yet I couldn´t remember them. They were strangers to me. Nice and gentle strangers.

"You have nothing to feel sorry for. It´s not your fault." Alice still was between Elisabeth and me with her happy face.

"She´s anguished, confused… The confusion is strong." The other boy spoke and I looked at him for the first time since I entered the room. His face was covered with half moon shaped scars. I recognized that immediately. They were vampires´ bites. I felt scared. He should be a horrible person if someone did that to him. "Oh. And now she´s scared of me."

"How… do you… know it?"

"Don´t worry about that now." Edward said and directed a hard look at him, as if he was scolding him. The boy smiled softly and I started to feel an odd calm invading my body. It didn´t matter anymore that they were strangers, or that I was in an unknown hotel or that nothing made sense. I was at ease like I never was before.

"I… Excuse me, but there´s something I want to ask." Elisabeth, who hadn't said a word until now, spoke reminding us of her presence.

"Of course. Please, ask." I observed that man. He was like an apparition from the heavens. His blonde hair and sweet eyes dazzled me.

"You said that you thought she was dead. What happened?"

Everyone averted their eyes, worried by the question. An important topic was being treated. The thought of knowing the answer made me shiver with uncertainty. I wasn´t sure if I wanted to know it, to open a door that had been closed for years. Maybe there was a reason for me to forget. A good reason I didn´t want to know about it.

"I don´t think…Well, it´s something hard to explain." Edward´s face became a mask of pain. It surprised me to see him suffer for the same thing that I was sure would make me suffer too. His change confirmed my fears. I wouldn´t like the answer. "It´s something I would like to forget."

"Elisabeth" I said her name like a plea. It was better not to touch that topic. To open the lid of my Pandora´s box with a strong yank, to let all the bad things of my life come out, didn´t look like the best option for me. I wasn´t ever sure of wanting to let them out, even little by little. As she herself said not long ago, _"__Sometimes I think it was better for you to forget everything. I hope you never remember whatever your mind wanted to forget."_

"Let´s relax the atmosphere. My brother is too anxious with all this and maybe it´s confusing you even more, Bella. Since you can´t remember us, let me introduce our family to you. She´s Esme, our mother." – She pointed to the woman who hugged me. "The man who´s at her side is Carlisle. Our father. The boys at his right are Emmett," her finger moved all the way to the bigger, " and Jasper." I didn´t look at him because his scars still scared me. Even with the calm flowing around me. "The girl sitting at the back is Rosalie. We all are your family." Everyone made a slight move of assent while a smile changed their faces into something even more beautiful.

"Nice to meet you." If it wasn´t for that weird calmness that I couldn´t explain, all this would have made me gone crazy.

"I didn´t introduce myself either. I´m the older yet, apparently, less polite one." As always there was no one who could scare her. Even in this room full of unknown vampires. She spoke with a soft, nice and gentle voice. "I´m Elisabeth Anderson, and I´m practically the grandmother of this silent little thing. At least it was like that for the last three years."

"Nice to meet you, Miss Anderson."

"Please, call me Elisabeth and I will call you Carlisle."

"Of course, Elisabeth. We're really grateful to you for taking care of Bella all that time. She's a much-loved member of our family. We're in debt to you."

"You´ve nothing to be grateful for. I´m the one who should be grateful for finding her. She gave a lot of happiness and company to this poor old woman. So her name is Bella… What a beautiful name." She turned around to look at me, but I didn´t like it. I felt like a lost puppy being returned to its original owner. Everything sounded like goodbye.

My name wasn´t Bella. Maybe it was in the past, but I didn´t have memories about being that Bella girl. I was Eira. It was the first name someone gave to me, the first one used to call me, the key that opened a new world for me. They couldn´t take it away. Even if they were my family.

"I don´t really understand the goal of all this." I said all of a sudden. "I want to know who I am. I will not deny that, but I have no intention to throw myself in some strangers´ arms. I don´t know you. And, I´m Eira. Elisabeth, please don´t talk about me as if you were returning me after finding me in the street. You´re my only family, the only one I need and have right now." I turned around and looked at Esme and Carlisle guessing they were my parents or something like that. "I´m grateful for all your kindness, but it´s late and we should go back home."

"Eira, don´t be ill-mannered! Please, excuse her."

"It´s ok. We understand." Esme affirmed with a warm smile. "You should be confused and overwhelmed with all the things we're saying. If you don´t remember us, we´re strangers for you. It´s normal you feel like that. We only want you to understand that we love you and if you need time we will give you that. Even more now that we know there´s someone taking care of you."

"My wife is right. We're too anxious and happy about finding you. We didn´t think how odd and uncomfortable all this is for you. Please, forgive us. If you want to leave, you´re free to do that, but give us the chance to contact and see you soon. Even if you can´t remember it, you´re a member of our family and we can´t simply go away and forget all about you."

With that reasoning it was impossible to deny him that. Besides, it wasn´t that I didn´t want to know more about my "other me". I was just overwhelmed by how fast everything was moving. Everyone talked to me with a familiarity I didn´t feel, with a name I couldn´t recognize as my own and treated me as someone I really wasn´t. No one seemed to understand that I couldn´t change my personality just because I met them.

Now I´m Eira.

Now I´m Bella.

It didn´t work like that. I wasn´t a doll that could be changed for her owner´s desires. And even if I wanted to do it, my brain was working on its own without obeying me. For years I tried to remember something; it didn´t matter what. I only wanted a little memory to know there was someone who missed me. But it hadn't worked.

I looked around and thought about the possibility of spending more time with them. I could do that as long as they didn´t try to make me stay away from my home for a long time.

"Ok. I understand what you´re saying, and it´s right. But, tell me. Are you my parents?" The funny smile on everyone´s face was the answer I needed.

"No, at least not biologically. But you´re like a daughter for us."

"Then, what´s our kinship?"

"You were going to be my wife. You can be my wife if you still want." Edward spoke and my brain went off. I couldn´t think, speak, breathe or even keep my mouth closed.

**TBC…**

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**RoxieCullen454 – **Silly girl! I will NEVER be bored of you or knowing your opinion. This story is here because of you, so your opinion is very important to me. I´m glad you like it. You know I´m a mean girl who loves to torture the characters so… BUAHAHAHA. Thanks for leaving a review here. 3

**Dolphindreaming –** Here you go, update for you. :D

**1BrownEyedGirl1 –** You will see. A lot of things will happen and Bella´s memories will be a veryyy important part of this story. Thanks for the review. 3

**newdawn4bella –** Ey sweety! You´re the newdawn from LJ, right? :D Thanks for your sweet words.

**Atej** – Thanks. Lol. I´m glad you liked it.

**PinkSlytherin –** Here you have your update :)

**CGRAY3119 **– Thank you soooooo much for your excited review. It made me very happy to see how much you´re liking my fanfic. I will write a lot of chapters more (this will be a long fanfics), so I hope you read all the chapters and I can know your opinion about them. [hugs]

**mrscullenxo5 **– lol. Here you have another cliff. :P

**autumnletters ****–** Thank you! I always thought that it would be interesting for Bella to loss her memories and forget everything about Edward, so… that + Victoria = Melting the ice. Lol

**x-ealasully-xD –** Thank you so much. I will do it, I have a soft spot for this story so… And about the chapters. I don´t really know. This fanfics have a Spanish version that I wrote 2 years ago, and it had 10 chapter, but this English version will be longer so maybe 16-20 chapters.

**StephanieSwanCullen –** Here is the update. :) Sorry for the delay.

**Miss Ella 609 –** Thank you sooooooo much for the 2 reviews! :D It made me so happy what you said about this being a fresh idea… About the things you don´t know about Victoria and Bella´s change… well, I will only say "nothing is what it seems". BUAHAHAHA

**Sn0wyDayZ –** Wow! What a sweet praise! Thank you so much. I´m really glad you like my story. :D


	6. Chapter 5

Hi my sweet readers! Here I am once more. Thank you so much for your reviews, and of course I will reply them after the chapter. :)

**THANKS YOU SO MUCH ROSANNA** (RoxieCullen454) who always work hard as my beta. She says that it´s not work, but you should see my grammar mistakes before she does her magic. She´s sweet, funny and hard-working and I love her for giving me the chance to publish my fanfics in English. I wouldn´t publish them without her helping me. Really, thank you for accepting this poor "writer" who always makes mistakes. The 50% of this fanfic and its reviews are for you.

NOW THE CHAPTER! THERE WE GO!

X.X.X.X.X.X

**CHAPTER 5**

"_Abnegating your memories sometimes is a matter of survival."_

**(Edward PoV)**

In front of me my biggest happiness and my worse nightmare became one thing mixed in her body. To have her there and be afraid to touch her, see her lips and not be able to kiss them, feel her sweet smell and not be able to caress her neck with the tip of my nose. Little descriptions of the horrible tortures that I was suffering. Maybe because of that, when she asked what bond she shared with my family, my mouth acted by itself.

"You were going to be my wife. You can be my wife if you still want."

I marked her body as my property, nailing a flag in her heart to claim her as mine. It wasn´t a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. In the past I asked her to marry me and - even if she had never said "yes" – if time and life would have allowed us to spend more time together, I´m sure she would be my wife at this point. After all, I wasn´t lying.

"_You shouldn´t act so precipitately. It´s becoming very hard to keep her calm_." Jasper´s voice sounded like a mute conversation between us.

"Were we… going to get married?" She stuttered. It was like having back the human Bella who always trembled with my words. I couldn´t stop the smile on my face. I wanted more of that. I wanted the Bella who I could recognize. "Then, are you my family-in-law?" Everyone laughed at that. We never thought about it that way, but I suppose they were exactly that. It wasn´t necessary to see the blood coloring her cheeks – as it happened in the past – to know she was really ashamed. It made me feel warm and happy. There it was once more. My sweet and shy Bella.

"We could say that. All the same, we love you as a daughter, not only as Edward´s lover."

"Esme is right." Alice put her arm around Bella´s waist and made Bella move closer to her. A gesture so simple still made me feel amazingly jealous. I desired to touch her, caress her, hug her, kiss her and even make her mine, but she didn´t welcome my touch like she accepted my sister´s.

I hoped that would change soon. Right now my desire to feel her skin against mine was stronger than the thirst that I felt when she was human. Stronger than anything I felt before.

"I love you as a sister. Maybe I love you more than I love Edward." Alice kept joking and stuck her tongue out at me with her normal childish self. For a moment I almost told her that it didn´t matter to me, that I loved Bella more than anyone. But when the love of my life smiled sweetly and let a shy laugh escape her lips everything became warm and my world was better.

If this was the effect of Alice´s jokes I would be happy to let her say whatever she wanted.

"I have an idea. I don´t know if you would like it. It´s late, the sky is already dark and I don´t know if you´re in a hurry to go back home, but maybe you could stay here tonight. We have got a lot of rooms that no one will use, so Elisabeth can rest here." _Good_ _idea_, I thought. Alice was earning herself a big and expensive gift.

"If that´s not a nuisance for you, I would appreciate it. I´m tired and I must to say that Eira drives like a mad girl at night, when no one is around. It scares me just to think about it. Besides, it would be a good idea for you to talk more." Elisabeth looked at Bella with disguise, asking with her eyes if that was ok. When I saw Bella agreeing I wanted to let out a scream of happiness. This was the first step to construct a new confidence between her and our family.

"Perfect then! She can stay in our room, we wouldn´t use it." Alice said with an excited voice. _"I´m sorry, but I will be with Bella all the time. No alone-with-Bella time for you, mister."_ My smile became twisted when I heard that, but it only lasted some seconds. It didn´t matter if I couldn´t be alone with her. She was here. Beautiful, close to me and alive. Even if I couldn´t touch her, if I closed my eyes her fruity smell caressed my nose making me remember all our happy moments together.

This was for me like dreams were for humans.

Esme moved closer to Elisabeth and both of them went to the bedroom, talking like two mothers at their sons´ school front door. I didn´t give attention to what they were talking about, but I realized that they seemed to like each other. It wasn´t hard to see that both of them shared that motherly feeling.

Emmett and Jasper went to the sofa where Rosalie was sitting all the time. She always moved away when Bella was with us, and for one moment I thought that she would act like she did in the past. Rejecting Bella because she didn´t like her decisions. But as soon as I saw her mind, I realized that this time it wasn´t like that. The guiltiness and the remorse didn´t allow her to approach Bella. Everyone preferred to give her room to breathe and didn´t overwhelm her more.

Only Carlisle, Alice and I invited her to sit down so we could talk. We had a lot of questions in our minds, so many that we wanted to ask that we didn´t know where or how to begin. Now, more than before, I would have liked to be able to read her mind, but that was the only thing of hers that hadn't changed in all this time. Her mind was a secret for me. It was very frustrating.

"I don´t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I would like to know some things if you can answer me. What is the first thing that you remember?"

Bella doubted for some seconds before being ready to answer Carlisle´s question. A sigh escaped her lips as if she was remembering something very hard or sad. Her eyes moved up, trying to remember everything and then her story began.

"The first thing that I remember is the odd feeling of fire burning my body. There was no more. No worries, no memories, no one to ask for help… I only remember the fire eating me alive for so long that it seemed like forever." My heart ached with her words and I had to close my eyes for a second to digest the image in my head. "When I opened my eyes I was alone, wet, dirty and very very hungry."

Her eyes became dark with the memories of that strong thirst. I realized then how dark they were. We needed to satiate her thirst, but that would be something hard to do. Her red irises were a delicate matter.

"It was a big forest, foliate and very humid. It was raining as if it was the end of the world, but I wasn´t cold. I didn´t understand what was happening, nor knew why, but I had the odd feeling that something bad happened to me and that wasn´t the right place for me to be. I began to walk to some unknown place and before I could realize it I was jumping from one branch to another." She laughed a little with that memory. I imagined how baffling it should be to discover things about yourself that you couldn't really understand. "To be sincere my first months were weird. I didn´t know what I was, why I was doing those things that I did, nor how I could do them. When I went near cities and towns I saw people, but they weren´t like me and that made me feel more confused. They were so slow, so different… so mouthwatering."

The surprise and horror was written all over our faces – even the ones who were on the other side of the room – when the last words sounded aloud. It was stupid for us to be like that, her eyes were the most evident sign of her "diet".

Immediately she shut up. She said something that she didn´t want to, something I wish I would have never heard, but it was normal after all. I shouldn´t be surprised, it was normal to act like that if you´re alone in the beginning. My sweet and innocent Bella ending someone´s life. It was hard for me to imagine her killing people.

"I´m sorry. It makes me a horrible person to say that, right?" she asked, ashamed. "Don´t you feed on…" she didn´t end the question, only kept her eyes on the floor. I didn´t want that. It wasn´t fair to make her feel guilty for something that she couldn´t control. After all, it was impossible to choose another path without help, without someone guiding you. Most of us don´t naturally know that it´s not necessary to kill people. That you can feed on animals, only animals.

"Please, don´t feel ashamed. It´s normal to be like that when you´re alone after waking up. The thirst is not something that you can control by yourself. Part of our family was like that in their first years, but now we only hunt animals." Carlisle tried to make her feel better, and I was surprised how similar our thoughts were. However, I wanted to know more, I wanted to know something that I shouldn´t ask, but I couldn´t stop myself.

"Do you come to Vancouver to…" I couldn´t finish my question, but her scared face made me know that she understood what I wanted to ask.

"I…"

"You don´t need to answer that." Alice casted me a withering look, but I was already feeling bad for asking something like that. I was divided in two halves. The one that wanted to know about all the horrible things that she suffered and did in that lonely time. And the one that wanted to forget about everything and act as if nothing bad ever happened. I loved her enough to not be concerned about her killing hundreds or thousands of persons. Even if she was evil incarnate I would be happy to see her alive and love her no matter what.

I was a selfish man, but the blood of those people had kept her alive, and that was what mattered for me.

"It´s…ok. I feel ashamed. I wish I could control this part of me, but I´m not strong enough. Every time I look at Elisabeth I feel like a hypocrite. I love her, and I want her to think that I´m a good person, but when I´m alone… my mind is always thinking about someone´s blood in my mouth. I´m such an evil creature."

She began to rub her hands nervously. Her shame was so evident that it hurt me too. I understood that feelings. I had a dark past too. A time when I only lived for the desire to kill and drink blood. No rules, no worries, no nothing. Just me and my inner beast. But for her it was even worse.

Back then I knew what my options were, and I rebelled against the one that I didn´t like. But Bella was alone, scared and confused. Her body wanted blood and that desire horrified her. I remembered that too. Those first years with Carlisle, when the world was something cruel that tempted me with all sort of smells. My dad guided me with patience and love, and I couldn´t imagine how my life would have been without his help.

She was better than she thought. She had a working morale that made her realize that killing people was wrong.

"You shouldn´t feel bad about it." Alice took Bella´s hands in hers to control the soft trembling. "It´s our nature to act like that. You will understand soon that we´re something weird." She smiled trying to make Bella relax. "There are not a lot of vampires who don´t kill humans."

"Alice is right. Everyone needs a guide when they want to live a life that is not what people would call normal. We will help you with that. Don´t worry. No one is perfect, and mistakes are what make us more human. Now, can you please tell us more about your memories?"

"I spent some time roaming around some cities, trying to understand what I was. Then, four years after I had woken up, I found someone who was like me. She was a woman. She came to me as if she knew me and we talked. For some reason I didn´t like her. She talked to me with a touch of contempt and amusement that made me shiver. In the beginning she talked about things that I didn´t understand. When I told her that I remembered nothing and asked her if she knew me she only laughed and said no. I still don´t understand what all that was about, why she acted like that, but she explained a lot of useful things to me, so I suppose that I should feel grateful."

All the members of my family were looking at each other, suspecting something that we didn´t want to believe. In our minds a name was appearing. I began to understand a lot of things about what Victoria told us in Ottawa.

"_You killed her, right?"_

"_Some could say that I did and some could say that I did not."_

"_Don't play games. I know she's dead!"_

"_Oh, right. You're the little witch who can see everything." _She told Alice. _"Well, it seems to me like your powers aren't that good. Laurent had heard from Irina that you were almost infallible. I suppose this is the exception." _

Of course, she knew that Bella wasn´t dead. It was a sure thing that she changed her at the last moment, and maybe she thought that Bella was dead even if there was still some life inside of her. It should have been funny for her to meet Bella after all those years and see that not only was she not with me, but she didn´t even remember me. Even realizing that Alice wasn´t able to see her alive should have been a pleasure for her.

Victoria played one of her games once more, telling us that Bella was alive but using intricate words. She threw clues at us, knowing that we were stupid enough to not understand them.

I wanted to kick myself. I could have found Bella a long time ago. If I only would have spent more time looking for her…

"Do you know the name of that woman?" Carlisle asked at last.

"I think her name was Victoria. Yeah, Victoria."

A fierce growl escaped my chest scaring Bella, who moved away from me. In that moment I wished that Victoria was still alive so I could kill her once more while she saw that Bella was with me. I wanted to show her that even with all her tricks, we would end up meeting each other. Even if our relationship wasn´t exactly the same as it was in the past.

"Please, forgive my brother." Alice said and looked at me with angry eyes. "He knows someone with that name who he doesn´t like at all. Please, keep going."

"There´s not much more to talk about. She explained to me what we were, told me that it would be better if I left the country. I didn´t understand why she told me that, but she wasn´t reliable most of the time, so I ignored that advice. At last we split and I continued roaming around until I met Elisabeth." She smiled. "She was the weirdest and nicest person that I ever met. She seemed to know what I was and didn´t even walk away from me when I told her what I fed on. She practically obliged me to stay with her… even if I must admit that I didn´t offer that much resistance." Her smile was bigger and brighter, and no one could stop their own smile. After all, even if her life was hard, someone accepted and loved her. Elisabeth was like family, and I needed to thank her for that.

TBC…

x.x.x.x.x.x

**KThxBai **– Thank you so much for your sweet words and compliments. I don´t like to rush stories. Readers need to know everything. When I read I love to know all those Little details that makes the character change. Thanks for the alerts!

**PinkSlytherin** – He will do it. I promise. I love the fluffy stuff as much as I do angst.

**x- L e i l a –x** - You know how he is. Such a drama queen. But those angst moments are cute. At least for me. Lol.

**Dolphindreaming **– Thanks! You will see. There are a lottttttttttt of things coming this way. The interesting stuff will began soon. And he is not. Her mind is a secret for him… for now.

**Alicealb** – Thanks and welcome to my story. I will write A LOT more. Don´t worry. I´m a Little slow updating because english isn´t my first language and the chapters need to be "beted".

**RoxieCullen454** – And here is my other half. Lol. You already know how much I hate the emo-puppet Bella, so she will have a lottttt of backbone here. And Elisabeth will be very important for the EdBe relationship. Alice? Well, she will do something in the future, but it will be a Little something that it´s not related with this. Bahhh… you silly girl don´t realize how amazing your magic is. [hugs the life outta you]

**Alexandra** – Thanks and here you go. Next update as soon as I can. :)

**Miss Ella 609** – Thank *YOU* for reading and reviewing. I´m so happy with your compliment and your reaction to my chapters. You´re too kind. I´m splitting up my chapters at half so I can update faster. Hope you liked this chapter too.

**mrscullenxo5** – I promise some EdBe loving in the next chapter. Edward will have some love, don´t worry.

**CGRAY3119** – This story is ALL about suspense. Lol. We´re still in the easy part. Wait until I bring the big guns. Thanks for the review!

**SEE YOU IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	7. Chapter 6

Hi readers! I´m sooooooooooooo sorry for the delay, but I hope that all the lovey-dovey stuff here makes you forgive me. :)

**NOTE: I realized that I have got less and less reviews in every chapter. I would like to know if you´re not interested now. It takes a LOT of time to work on this since English is not my native language and I keep using Rosanna´s free time to fix my mistakes. It´s ok, I understand that I´m slow and it´s easy to lose interest, but I would appreciate your real opinion. :) I will not write more MTI if people don´t read it.**

**THANKS TO ROSANNA: **For being sooo good to me and using her free time to be my poor slave. I love you and I can´t thank you enough for doing this for me. I´m still working on giving you that shirtless Jasper, but you know… I need to test the quality of the product before sending it. Me? Wanting to do perv things to him? Of course not! You offend me, missy.

Now the chapter… :) (it´s longer than the previous ones!)

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

**CHAPTER 6**

"_When age chills the blood, when our pleasures are past— For years_

_fleet away with the wings of the dove— The dearest remembrance _

_will still be the last, Our sweetest memorial the first kiss of love."  
__**(Lord Byron)**_

**BELLA PoV**

For hours I talked with these people as if the time was nothing. Maybe it was because time is nothing for us. They never told me any important stuff about my past with them, nor wanted to tell me why they thought that I was dead. Every time I tried to talk about that they subtly changed the topic. It didn´t matter how much they wanted to conceal the truth I still could see the scared pain in their eyes. Something truly horrible happened to me in the past. And no one was willing to share that information with me. Even if I was the main character of this story.

I will not lie, I´m not a brave heroine. My curiosity and my impulses made me want to forget about the manifest darkness of my past. The pain never was good, and I already had enough of that.

Sometime during the night the woman called Esme interrupted our long conversation saying that it was enough for today, that they should let me rest. I had no words to thank her. I needed this break. All those questions, answers and half-truths were making me feel dizzy. Or something like that. It was as if my head was spinning around and the world confused me. In my mind I was someone, but all the people there treated me as if I was someone else.

When I managed to draw off their attention – and it was very hard to do that – I escaped from the room, wishing for a breath of fresh air and some aloneness. It was funny how many times I complained because I couldn´t understand why Elisabeth liked so much to spend her time alone in that house, isolated from the world. Now I understood the nice feeling of escaping from people.

A big relief enveloped me when the cold air touched my face like a caress. I was on the roof of that amazingly big hotel, enjoying the beautiful view of an illuminated Vancouver, the smell of the snowed mountains, and the silence softly broken by the murmur of the sleeping city.

What a nice feeling.

Wanting to enjoy it for a long time, I sat on the roof´s edge. It would have been nice if the cold touch of the cement affected my body´s temperature, but that wasn´t possible anymore. There was nothing in nature that could affect me. Not cold, not heat, not rain, not even the snow.

I let my mind wander on those insignificant thoughts. No more complicated life, it was complicated enough right now for me to add more worries. I needed to enjoy this moment all by myself before someone from the Cullens chased me.

The animals should be fed tomorrow in the afternoon, we needed some wood before the next snowfall … things like that were good for me to think about now.

But even if I tried very hard to keep my mind at bay, there were other things that came to me. His words. I couldn´t forget that. How Edward´s eyes sparkled when his lips talked about marriage. With me. I still couldn´t believe it. Was he my fiancé? No, no. That wasn´t possible. And even if it was, I wasn´t that girl anymore.

"Bella." As if my mind called for him to come here, he suddenly appeared at the roof´s door.

The name he called me was odd. I wasn´t that Bella girl, I didn´t feel like she did. Bella was like a fairy tale that everyone knew about, everyone but me. She wasn´t real. But for some reason, when he was the one calling me that, it didn´t sound that bad. It was almost nice. I looked at him then, trying to understand why he confused me so much, and all I could see was how beautiful his eyes were.

"I was worried. I noticed that you left the room and… I thought that maybe…" He advanced some steps until he was close to me, doubting if he should come even closer or stay where he was. "Can I accompany you?"

"Canada is a free country. Sit down." My answer was more aggressive that I intended it to be and it hurt both of us. But he tried to hide his feelings and sat down at my side.

"Did we overwhelm you so much that you needed to run away at the first opportunity?" I wanted to deny it, anguished by the idea of them thinking that I didn´t like them, but when he looked at me with a small crooked smile I realized that he was joking. That smile, soft and playful, was sinfully pleasing to me. He was so beautiful that it hurt me to look at him for a long time. I had to look away every now and then just to keep myself sane.

"It´s," I sighed, "intense."

"It´s like that for us too. We want to take things slow and let you breathe, but at the same time it's hard to control our excitement."

"I think I can understand that. Don´t worry."

We looked at the city in front of us without really paying attention to it. The silence was nice, but the tension floated between us. We were like a couple after a fight, and that thought was funny for me. After all, we were a couple. Or so he said.

I imagined for a moment how our life was like when we were together, what type of stuff we did in the past, how we acted and a lot of things like that. An ephemeral image of a kiss crossed my mind like a falling star and I felt very ashamed. I was thinking about stuff that I shouldn´t think about. This wasn´t my life, they weren´t my real family and above all, I wasn´t in love with him.

I fought against that stupid image of his lips touching mine, but it was hard to erase it. My eyes lay on his lips – without my permission – for a second and a deep sigh escaped my mouth, making him look at me.

I wanted to kiss him like a different version of the fairy tale that I read about a sleeping princess a long time ago. Maybe with a kiss my mind would wake up and we would live happily ever after.

I wanted to hide on the other side of this planet and forget about these confusing people that were taking my life away from me and turning me into someone else.

I wanted him to own me even if I didn´t really know him.

Did that, somehow, make sense? This was the first time that I felt that way. Of course, I didn´t meet a lot of men in the past, even less without wanting to drink their blood, but my experience about this type of feeling was limited to books and stories that Elisabeth told me about.

Love.

That human feeling that destroyed countries, hearts and people since the creation of humans. Men killed to achieve it, women lied in its name… Was it so strong? I couldn´t believe it. I laughed when Elisabeth tried to explain to me how deep, amazing and dangerous it is. But, what did I know about love?

Suddenly I was scared. Love? Why was I thinking about love? This wasn´t love. It couldn´t be. I only was… confused. Yeah, that was it. I was dazzled by him. His sad loving eyes, his half-smile, the way his body always moved closer as if it was attracted to mine.

"You and me… We… Did we love each other?" I wasn´t ashamed for having asked that. Something inside of me needed to know it. I was intrigued, I was interested about it. Even if I knew that I shouldn´t be.

"More than anything. There was no human or inhuman force that could break us apart. At least until…"

"It should be hard for you."

"What?"

"The fact that I can´t remember you. I´m sorry." And it was the truth. I was sorry for that boy of unknown age that looked at me with adoration. When he looked at me as if I was the most important thing in the world it was hard to control or understand my own heart.

"It´s not your fault. I can´t deny that it never crossed my mind that something like this would happen. I mean, you forgetting all about us, about me. But I´m happy because you´re here, alive. I never was happier than when I discovered that you were alive. Well, that day and when you said for the first time that you loved me."

"How did we meet?" I asked, curious.

"I don´t know if I should talk about the past."

"Please." I begged.

"Ok. It's nothing bad, scary or worrisome." He seemed to think about it for a moment before starting his narrative, but when his lips moved to say the first word a smile drew itself on his face. His memories were good and sweet; our meeting was something beautiful in his mind.

I felt truly relieved by that. It was the first time that any of them looked as if my past had some good stuff too.

"You were human back then. You were moving into the town where my family and I lived. The first time I saw you, well I wasn´t exactly a gentleman. I think I scared you."

"Why?" I interrupted him, curious about the last part. He only reacted with a bigger smile.

"You smelt too delectable. You smelt like no one in this world. It was hard for me to control myself." Maybe I should have been puzzled by that, or scared, but quite the contrary. I liked the idea of smelling especially good for him. The "me" who was human had something special. That thought encouraged me.

"But you did it, I suppose."

"Of course. It was harder than you can imagine, but I did it. From that moment on a lot of things happened and you realized little by little what I was. I should have backed away, but I couldn´t bring myself to do it." Now, it wasn´t only the smile on his lips. All his face was a mask of happiness made by his good memories. "I was totally scared. I didn´t want you to discover what I was and run away from me, but then you said that it didn´t matter… that you would love me, vampire or not. Nothing was important anymore for me. Nothing but you. You were my world. You still are my world. The only thing I need to be happy is to know that you´re safe at my side."

He moved his hand slowly to put it on mine, which was resting on the cement at my leg´s side. He softly covered it with his, weighing out my reaction. All of his tension disappeared into thin air when he realized that I wouldn´t reject his touch. I couldn´t do it. Not after hearing him talk about me with love and worship.

The truth is that I let him do it because I felt bad, guilty. But his touch was nice too. I couldn´t lie. I liked it. Even if all of them told me that they knew me, nothing reassured me more than the feeling of my body when he touched me. It was like a confirmation of an absolute truth.

I knew him. He loved me. And I loved him back.

There was a time when my heart was his, and its beats resounded in his chest. With all the confusion still in my head, I could see that much. I **knew** it.

"Do you dislike it when I do this?" He raised our joined hands to the height of my eyes.

"No, it´s… not bad. Just odd. But not bad."

"Maybe your body can remember what your mind can not." The sudden huskiness of his voice caressed the creases of my ears. It was sexy enough to make me want to play with fire, because right now he was that for me. Fire. One that I shouldn´t want to touch, but that was already warming me.

I never knew someone like him. Not even in the books that I loved to read. The main characters are always beautiful, but not in the same way that Edward was. He has this dangerous thing. Not for me, but for anyone who tried to hurt me.

I was so lost in my silly thoughts that I didn´t realize how our bodies were coming closer. Less and less distance, until I could feel his sweet breath on my face. Like a kiss that never came.

x.x.x.x.x

EDWARD PoV

The desire to kiss her was stronger than the thirst that I felt when she was human. Her lips were screaming for me. The call was so deafening that everyone in this city should be hearing it if they paid attention to it.

This wasn´t the same as before and that made it easier. Her warmth was different, her skin, her eyes, her smell… everything was more intense for me to enjoy.

"This is not right." I stopped myself using the last drop of self-control in my body. "I´m sorry. I´m rushing this. It´s hard for me to be so close to you and control my feelings."

Her eyelids were closed when I looked at her, and the unnecessary air left her chest with a soft sigh. Was that disappointment? No, it couldn´t be, but it seemed like that. Did she want me to kiss her? Did she want it at least with half of the intensity that I wanted to do it?

I hated this. Wanting her but being scared of acting like I felt. If she knew how strong my feelings were she would run away scared. This desire was hell and heaven at the same time. For the first time I wasn´t scared for her well-being. My love could be hard for her to accept, but it couldn´t hurt her anymore.

"I… being like this, so close to you… I feel confused."

"Confused?"

"I don´t really know you, but there´s something in me that makes me feel attracted to you. It´s like you have a magnet inside of you and I am made of metal. Even if I want to move away something about you stops me."

"Do you want to move away from me?" An alarm sounded in my head. Did I misunderstand her body-language? If it was like that then she should be scared of my attempt to kiss her. Right now I was a stranger for her. I wasn´t being a gentleman. But, how do you control the uncontrollable?

"No, it´s not that. I´m only saying that I can´t control it even if I wanted to. But right now I don´t want to. To be sincere when I found you in the street I couldn´t believe that you knew me. At least it seemed weird. Someone is walking in a big city and suddenly she finds her family after fifteen years? It´s quite weird. I moved from one city to another a lot of times, but never met someone who knew me. I felt as if we all are strangers, but with you it's different. I feel that I know you."

Her sincerity bewitched me. The good old times were coming back. The Bella who I knew was peeking through the cracks of her memory, and that made me feel better. She believed in me even if she could remember nothing. That was love. I wanted to believe that it was love.

"You have no idea how happy this makes me. But talking about our meeting today and why it hadn't happened before, well, some of us have gifts. Alice can see the future. She has visions of things that will happen in the future. All those years, even if she tried to do it, she couldn´t see you. However, yesterday she had a vision. Alice saw you walking down that street at five nineteen. We couldn´t believe it. There were no words to describe how happy I was. And scared of it being a lie, or that you wouldn´t want to see me, or… I don´t know. I was scared of everything and nothing at the same time. Nothing could be worse than thinking that you were dead.

"Not even that I can´t remember you?"

"Of course that´s something that I would have never wanted to happen, but as I said before, it doesn´t matter. You will remember with our help, and if it doesn´t happen like that we can make new memories together. You fell in love with me in the past, when I was something totally different from you. Your mind can forget, but somewhere in your heart love waits to be rediscovered."

"There´s something that I don´t understand."

"What is it?"

"You say that Alice… she has visions. How is it that she never saw me in those years? Maybe I blocked her?"

"We don´t know the reason, but, what are you talking about blocking her?"

"I met some powerful vampires a long time ago. More like crossed their paths. But no one was able to use their powers on me. That intrigued me a lot, so I looked for someone who was able to do something like what I do. That man explained to me that it was a "gift" that very few people have, something that surely I had when I was human. It should have been extended after being changed. It´s like a shield."

"A shield?" I never heard about that in all my life as a vampire. Not even Carlisle told me any story about someone with a similar power. The curiosity made me move closer once more. Maybe she was right and we were like magnets. That made me smile a little bit, but the desire to know more about this new Bella was stronger.

"Yes. It´s like…" she searched for the right words to explain herself, "…some type of energy that protects my mind. Normally it´s only useful with vampires that control, manipulate, or enter the mind, but sometimes I can expand it until it protects me from other types of gifts. It´s hard to explain and even harder to use. Maybe that´s what blocked Alice´s gift."

"That explains why I never was able to read you. Even now." It was a thought spoken aloud. I knew at last the reason why my power didn´t work on her. It always intrigued me why her mind was closed to me. Of course, Bella looked at me without understanding my words. "Just like Alice can have visions, I can read minds. No one was an exception until I met you. That´s something that always annoyed me a little bit. Your mind was what I wanted to know more than anything, and it was the only one that couldn´t be read."

"I´m sure that the shield was useful when I was human." She smiled sweetly. "I can´t imagine how horrible it must be to be in love with someone who can read your mind all the time and knows exactly what you´re thinking about. I would have been very ashamed."

"Yes, back then you were happy about it too." I smiled back at her.

We talked and talked for hours until the dawn started to brighten up the sky. It was nice to be able to talk with her without worrying for her needed sleep. We talked about everything and nothing, sharing thoughts, feeling a new bond between us. It was amazing. Until Alice found us and practically dragged her back to the room.

"So you were out there with Edward." Elisabeth smiled when the three of us entered.

"I found her on the roof. They were having a good time, it seems." My sister joked and after that her mind talked to me. "_And you looked happy like a kid on Christmas. You succeeded in kidnapping her. Right?"_ My smile was the only answer for her. Of course I was happy, happy as I never was in all those years. I had Bella with me. Was there anything more to ask for?

"We have been talking with Elisabeth when you were out about a way to spend more time together. I hope you don´t get angry with us." Alice told Bella with the same sweet voice that always helps her to achieve anything she wanted. It was impossible to get angry when she used that tone.

"We live in Ottawa, but we need to move out to another city. It has been a long time since we went there. So we think that it would be a good idea if we move here. That way we would be closer, and this city is a good place to live." Esme looked at me with a secret smile.

No one told me about this plan, and my mind was concentrated on my life´s love. I wasted no time on reading them. I liked the idea, no matter how sudden it was. To be closer to her… Of course that was my plan too.

The only thing that seemed odd was the fact that Rosalie was willing to move here because of Bella. But when I peeked at her mind, I only found happiness for me. I felt a lot better knowing that all the members of my family wanted to live here. Not only because of me, but because of their own happiness. After all, I wasn´t the only one who missed her.

"They´re good people, and they love you so much. You should be grateful to them for doing all this to be with you."

"Please don´t say that, Elisabeth. We´re glad that we can do this. As my wife said before, we have wanted to change our actual residence for some time. This is the perfect reason to do it." My father was sharing his happy thought with me while talking to Bella and Elisabeth. "_I´m so happy for you, son_."

"Thank you. I know this wasn´t what you hoped for when you found me. I'm sorry for all the troubles." Her words didn´t sound mean or false, but the last sentence wasn´t exactly sincere.

"Bella, please, you don´t need to be so polite." My mom laughed. "You make me feel like an old woman." Bella smiled at her words, but I knew the odd look in her eyes. This is what she was talking about before on the roof. She didn´t feel completely comfortable with my family. It would be hard for us to become a real part of her life.

"We should go back home. I´m sure we will see you soon. She drives like a crazy-drunk-girl when I don´t stop her, so she can be here in less than one hour. And, I was thinking…" Elisabeth doubted for a second and looked at Bella. "… maybe you will kill me after I say this but, the young man, Edward right?" I affirmed with a nod. "Maybe Edward would like to come home with us. My house isn´t very big, but there are some free rooms and I´m sure you will like to spend more time with my girl."

Elisabeth tried to hide her naughty smile, but it was hard and I could sense all my family smiling with her. Of course, Emmett being Emmett didn´t try to hide it. He laughed aloud and it sounded like a bear killing something. Maybe I should be the one killing him.

"I don´t want to be a nuisance." I said, trying not to impose myself on Bella´s life, but the truth is that I wanted nothing more than that. I loved that woman who seemed able to read my mind and grant my wishes.

"It´s… ok, I suppose. I must tell you that we live in an isolated town. Far away from any big city. Elisabeth is something similar to a hermit lost in the mountains. But the place is beautiful and it takes your breath away just to look through the window.

"Any place where you are is beautiful to me." I felt a little ashamed for saying that in front of all my family, but it wasn´t important right now. I was trying to make her feel loved and push aside her insecurities.

Life was different, and Bella was different, but no matter what she was, is and will be the person who brings me to life. Memories are a part of a person, but Bella was more than just her memories. She was everything to me. She was the only important thing for me.

**TBC…**

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Hope you like it, girls! I will not ask for reviews, I will say you that I NEED THOSE REVIEWS! I need to know if you´re interested or not. Please!

**x- L e i l a –x :** I know. I love when Victoria is evil. Lol. And Elisabeth is sooo cute!

**Kimmy :** Thank you so much! I loved your review and I´m very happy that you like this story. I love all the "what if…" fanfics. I hope you enjoy the next chapters too!

**mrscullenxo5 :** I hope you liked the loving. Lol

**RoxieCullen454 **: Ey there my girly! Bahh bah, you know that you can have a tantrum about me giving you PDA (lol) but I will never stop. Even if you don´t think so, this story is here thanks to you. Sooo… all my love for you!

**newdawn4bella :** This chapter was longer! I hope you liked it. :D

See you in the next chapter!


	8. Chapter 7

Hi my lovely girls! You made me sooo happy with all your reviews in the next chapter! It´s not that I´m a review wh*re (what I am. Lol), but I wasn´t sure if people was really reading it anymore. The reviews are my only way to know that, so I would appreciate a simple "continue soon!" or "I read it!". It´s just a minute and you would make me happy!

ALL MY LOVE AND THANKSTOROSANNA WHO WAS AMAZINGLY FAST WITH THIS CHAPTER! THANK YOU BABE FOR BEING SUCH AN AMAZING BETA FOR ME. EVERY TIME WE TALK I FALL MORE AND MORE IN LOVE WITH YOU! YOU´RE MY SMUTTY HALF! HOHOHOHO. **[hugs her]**

**And now the chapter! (Read the Note at the end of the chapter… believe me, you will like it. xD)**

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**CHAPTER 7**

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_"Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment."_

**(Lao Tzu)**

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**Bella PoV**

I asked myself how it was possible that we were in this situation. Elisabeth was giving Edward a little tour around the house and showing him the room where he would stay. Yesterday she was my entire family; now seven more members were added to the short list. And one of them was living with me.

My fiancé.

How did all this happen? There was no logic in this. My life was changed so radically that I couldn´t differentiate which part was real and which one was a memory inside someone else´s head. There was a moment in my past – one that I couldn´t remember – when I loved Edward and he loved me back, when that love seemed to be the thing that made my world spin around like a carrousel. A love so amazing and important that still was inside of me even if I couldn´t remember it.

"It´s a beautiful house." Edward said to Elisabeth and she smiled proudly.

"Thank you, young boy. When I was young I lived in San Francisco, but I was fed up with the bustle, so I bought this little house and came here. Little by little I remodeled it until it satisfied my taste."

"Esme would love this house. She likes restoration and decoration."

"Then I will invite her here. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about these sorts of things. Eira is not too interested in this. I practically had to threaten her to make her personalize her room. If it was up to her the room would only have her piano and a mountain of books.

"Piano?" Edward looked surprised and happy.

"Yes, she loves to play piano. I taught her how to play when we met each other. I was a piano teacher when I was young. I must say that she has talent. It was easy for her to learn, but Eira is only interested in one song. Time and time again she plays it." Elisabeth was amused, and slightly annoyed, by what a waste it was all the time she spent in my musical education since I limited my repertoire to one song.

"I can´t stop myself, I love that song." I felt ashamed. Edward said he composed that song for me. That sweet melody that was, for a long time, my only memory and comfort. Now I knew its meaning. Love. The love that someone felt for me and that inspired him to compose a lullaby. "Does it have a name?" I turned around to look for an answer. He seemed confused for a second, but soon he understood my question and answered it.

"I never gave it a title. It was your lullaby. I suppose we can call it _Bella´s lullaby_."

A sweet shiver made my already cold body tremble. To be loved so intensely by someone was without doubt a nice feeling. Never before, even with Elisabeth, had I felt so warm and loved. Now I could understand all those romance books that I read since I lived with Elisabeth. Gone with the Wind, Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility… and a long etcetera. I always read them without total understanding. That strong feeling seemed so powerful and beautiful, but weird too. They suffered too much for what was supposed to be something good. But Edward, he opened my eyes to a new world. More intense, more real… and more confusing.

I was the alter-ego of the girl who he loved, just a shadow of the truth. However, I felt so loved that it was hard to stop my desire to reciprocate his feelings.

"I would love to hear you playing. If that´s ok with you, of course." His request was simple. How could I dare to deny him something when he looked at me with that soft look? The passion in his heart filled my body with sweet waves of warmth. It didn´t matter how much I tried to deny what my heart and mind already knew. I was weak when his voice caressed my ears.

"Yeah. The piano is in my bedroom. Follow me." We left the room that he will be occupying. Three doors down was my room, at the end of the second floor´s corridor. I chose that one because I was able to see the sunset sitting in a small rocker by the window. I loved – and still love – that sight. Nothing like that to learn how to enjoy a quiet life.

An enormous piano occupied the center of the room, in front of it a beautiful red velvet seat allowed two persons to sit down there. His eyes, sparkling in a cute way, asked me for permission to sit down with me. I nodded, secretly happy to enjoy his warmth.

It´s weird how our touch is so cold to humans, but warm for others like us. I didn´t realize that until I met him two days ago. If we forget for a moment about the people I killed, my only non-violent touch was for Elisabeth, and even if she was always sweet about it, I knew how cold my skin was for her. This change, this discovery was amazingly nice.

As I always did, I caressed the white keys with the fingertip of my fingers before starting. It was a very important moment. The person who composed this song wanted to hear me playing it. I was scared of disappointing him, unsure of being able to play it right. All this nervousness was electrifying every pore of my skin.

After seeing some concerts that Elisabeth has recorded, I realized something. There are two types of pianists. Those who touch the keys as if they were touching their lover and those who only hit them, looking for a sound that showed their talent. She taught me how to be the first type.

One. Two. Three. And a deep breath. I exhaled once. I needed to be brave; I had to forget how close he was to me and how his smell surrounded my body. My mind went blank and my hands danced over the keys while the melody of my lullaby filled every corner of the house.

Keeping my eyes closed I tried to ignore his face. I didn´t want to be distracted in the middle of the song. But when I finished playing, even without opening my eyes yet, his happy applauses made me look at him.

He was so beautiful that it hurt me.

It wasn´t fair that he was able to dazzle me like that.

"I think I will never play it again. I like it better when you´re the one playing it."

"Thank you, but I´m not that good."

"Yes, you are. Please believe my words. I never thought that there would be a day when I would see you playing a piano. Esme will be hopelessly happy if you play for her someday."

"You seem to love your mother so much."

"She´s not my mother by blood, but she is at heart. No one has true blood bonds with each other, but we´re a big family."

"Really? I thought Alice and you… Well, you´re so similar. When I saw you together, side by side, it looks as if there were something special about your relationship. I don´t know, I thought you were brother and sister. I mean, blood related."

"She´s my favorite sister. I can´t deny that. We always understand everything that the other feels or thinks."

"I like Alice. She has something special. She treats me with such an affection and spontaneity. I suppose we were good friends."

"Yes, she loves you. Almost as much as I do." There it was once more. The right sentence, the perfect moment, always using sweet normal words to make my stomach feel funny.

It was driving me crazy. And the problem was that I wasn´t sure if it was the right way or the wrong one. It was as if someone else was taking over my body, my mind; and I only was able to look from far away. As if Bella, my alter-ego, was controlling me to let him know that she was still there, inside of me.

"This is crazy." I stood up, lost in my own thoughts. To understand myself was a full-time job that was even harder when that neo-romantic boy with copper hair looked at me searching for answers in my eyes.

I could feel it. The tension of his body fighting hard against the desire to move closer to me. He was a gentleman. Maybe too gentleman for what my body wanted him to do. For a moment I wanted him to lose control, to do whatever he was thinking that was wrong. The only time he allowed himself to forget about his auto-control, my mind woke up and I discovered some new feeling. Maybe this time I would be able to remember everything.

"What is crazy?" His eyes were still in mine, showing me a sparkle of lust.

"This… we…" my voice was husky as never before, and I had to push every word out of my mouth. "It makes me… nervous. But I… I don´t want to move away."

One step. And another. And another. Every crack of wood was like a heartbeat sounding inside my head. For someone who was able to move so fast, his movements were horribly slow.

"I don´t want you to move away either. I want it to be the other way around." His reply was huskier than mine, and that provoked a fire in my belly. I was dizzy and all my body tickled sweetly. I wanted him. "What if I tell you that I want to kiss you so badly that I feel like dying?"

"Then… do it." I whispered and he doubted for a moment, but it wasn´t enough for me to doubt too. _It was just a first, just a kiss_, I kept repeating to myself. But a voice inside my head reminded me that it was my first kiss. At least the first one that I would remember.

Only one more step separated us and he rapidly fixed that. Face to face, my eyes lost in his eyes and one of his hands moved around my waist. Suddenly everything was too much. His lips caressing mine, his free hand cupping the back of my head and his body touching mine so closely that it burned my skin. His breath was sweet, and I realized that it felt like the end of the world. But I was happy to be destroyed.

Torment and painful pleasure. That was what his lips were making me feel. His tongue played with mine, erasing all my silly thoughts by replacing them with a drugged happiness. He was so addictive that I knew it in that moment: I was damned for life. And my punishment was so sweet that I wanted to sin more.

Playing with fire, his hand left my waist for a moment, but when I was practically moaning at the loss, I realized why he did it. He needed, as much as me, to feel more. More love, more happiness, more skin. His hand was once more at my waist, but this time under my shirt.

After some minutes that were like an eternity and at the same time not enough, we separated our lips. His forehead touching mine, both with closed eyes and too scared to open them and find that all this was a dream. Our breaths mixed, tickling each other´s faces.

"I love you, Bella."

"I… I think I love you too." I laughed shyly at my own doubtful words. They were said with a soft trembling, but the force of my new discovery surprised both of us.

"It´s a good beginning. A very good one."

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**Edward PoV**

When you live a long period of sadness and grief you think that it will never end. It doesn´t matter if everyone around you wants to help you or keeps saying that it will be ok, you can´t leave behind the darkness of your mind. It's hard to imagine the future happiness when you have lost the only thing that kept you alive.

But that happiness was our present.

Only one week has passed since we found Bella, but it was amazing to see how having her in my life made everything better. A smile, a soft whisper, a shy caress. Anything she did made me smile like the fool in love that I was. She was everything I needed. The only thing I wanted.

Of course, she wasn´t my Bella. In some ways it was like falling in love with a different person, but when my mind began to think that, she always did something that reminded me about the old human Bella. And the best part was that she didn´t realize it. That was the sign that she was still the same. She just couldn´t remember it.

It´s not as if it mattered that much. She was Bella, my love, my other half. Memories or not. I only missed some parts of her that were cute.

Our new life together, living in the same house for the first time since we met, was normal and almost perfect. I learnt fast why Bella seemed so close to Elisabeth. The woman was gentle, warm and motherly. You couldn´t stop the feeling of being with a member of your own family. And I was glad that Bella had that in her life before we found her.

Maybe I should not, but I enjoyed how she always joked about how Bella looked so cute being in love. It didn´t matter how much Bella pouted or even got a little annoyed by all the teasing, I loved every moment. It made me realize that our love wasn´t something that only we could see. Other people could see it too. It was real.

Today, a strong snowstorm was announced, so before it started snowing we decided to go out and hunt. This was our second time doing it, and I couldn´t accept how odd it was to see Bella moving so fast and hunting so elegantly. Her movements were fluid. You couldn´t say when a movement ended and when the new one began. It fascinated me, and at the same time horrified me.

But thinking about how her life was until she met Elisabeth, and even after that, I preferred to see her like this. Hunting animals. We talked about her "diet". It was hard, painful and she was torn between shame and wariness. I think her biggest reason to become a vegetarian was Elisabeth. I could see in her eyes the pain of hiding something, of not being good enough to deserve her love, of hurting humans when she loved one of them so much.

I knew how hard it was to change, and it would be harder for her since she fed on humans for a long time. But I would be there, at her side, helping her all the time. After all, it was my fault that she was like this.

She was now everything I never wanted her to be. Of course, it didn´t make me love her less. I was feeling guilty. Even if it wasn´t directly, I stole her soul. If it wasn´t for my love for her she would still be human. But every time that I thought that, another thought made me forget. I couldn´t live without her. No matter what. Selfishness was a part of me. A big one. As big as my love for her.

I shook my head trying to forget all those things. I was with Bella, and I only wanted her to be happy. Looking around I realized that she was already running to the trees and laughing at me.

"Slow, slow Edward. Should I give you a two-minute lead?" she asked me and laughed once more.

"Wait until I get my hands on you." I replied and ran following her lead.

"You will have to catch me first."

I must admit that even if I tried really hard, she still was faster than me. I kept running behind her, hearing her laugh flowing with the air, and her hair moving softly while she ran. It was breathtaking. Bella was an apparition. So truly beautiful that I couldn´t believe what my eyes were seeing.

I lost sight of her for a moment, and even if I tried to hear her steps I couldn´t do it. She was very very silent. Almost as silent as fast. I stopped in a branch to concentrate but just as I was closing my eyes, I felt a light weight shaking the branch and a soft kiss on the back of my neck.

"Gotcha!" she giggled. "You´re far too slow. I missed you." Her laugh vibrated in my ears, tickling me.

"Then maybe you shouldn´t run away from me."

"Is that a pout? It´s cute."

"I think someone is making fun of me."

"Maybe. What price can I pay to make you forgive me?"

"I can think of some things." I smiled back at her. It was nice to be so free, to be able to love her without having a voice inside my head reminding me to be careful, to protect her of my true self.

"I´m sure you can."

I turned around in the branch to see her face. She was looking at me with soft playful eyes and that cute smile still curving her lips. Suddenly, the pull was too strong. I wanted to taste those strawberry lips. Always so sweet, so perfect, so warm.

"Aha."

Before I could move to kiss her, she ran once more. She loved to tease me. And I loved when she did it. Even if that meant no kiss for now. In the end she always found a good way to repay her debts. And I loved every moment of my little payment.

This time she was a little slower and I caught her fast. Hand in hand we went in search of something big to hunt. Spending my time with her like this, it was hard for me to remember any reason for not wanting to change her.

We were the same; she was in no danger of me losing the battle against the temptation of her blood, and every night the world seemed to slow down to show us that we had all the time in the world to be together. I thought I would miss seeing her sleep, but that was before realizing how good it was to be able to spend every hour of the day in her company, talking and sharing our thoughts.

Our noses caught the bittersweet smell of an elk. Big, really big. Maybe big enough to feed both of us. We looked at each other and with a quick nod we changed our direction to go find our food.

Yeah, to see her run fast or jump from tree to tree was one thing. But to see her hunt made me a little worried. I know, it was stupid. She was one of us. She had been one for a long time. But, for me, her "new life" was one week old. Sometimes it was hard to realize that she wasn´t fragile and clumsy anymore. Practically nothing could hurt her now.

"Aren´t you ready?" she asked confused.

"Oh, yes. Sorry."

"Are you ok?"

"Of course. I suppose I got lost in my thoughts."

Bella nodded once more and made a little movement with her head to invite me to move. Soon after that our teeth were biting warm tender meat and our throats were full of delicious blood.

It surprised me to realize that seeing her lick a little drop of blood from the corner of her mouth with her tongue was sexy and made me want her even more. There was something new, wild and primitive in the way she acted. My inner beast was appealed by hers. And I wanted to enjoy the temptation.

I forgot the carcass of the elk for a moment and took the steps necessary to grab her right arm and move her body to me. I didn´t ask – as I normally did – I had no time for that. My body needed her, my tongue wanted to taste her sweetness mixed with the coppery taste of the elk´s blood.

I smiled at her cute yelp of surprise, but what made me shiver was the moan that followed when my lips touched hers. So good. So addictive. There was a warm friction in our kiss, a new thick lust in the way our bodies moved closer. Never close enough, always needing more.

With the tip of my tongue I caressed her teeth, tasting the fruit of our hunt and that flavor that was entirely Bella. It always was hard for me to completely determine what she tasted like. There was strawberry, something fresh like lemon and maybe, yeah, maybe a touch of cinnamon. And even so, there was something that I couldn´t pinpoint. A part that would be a mystery to me forever.

Because she was the only thing that could drive me crazy, the only one that was able to make me dizzy and amazingly aware of the world at the same time.

She was my life.

But she would be the death of me.

**TU BI CONTINUI!**

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**NOTE: **I hope you liked it. Now if you want me to be happy leave a review! Because… well, I will make you happy in the next chapter with some smut!

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**REPLIES:**

**bellaandedwardcomstwin** – Believe me, as long as I know that people keep reading it, I will continue. :)

**LuvSam** – Thank you sooo much! It´s ok, I understand that some people have no time to review every story they read, but this is my first long fanfics in English (it´s not my native language) and reviews are my only way to know if people read me. Every chapter takes a lot of time, so I only want to know if I should forget about reading fanfics or if people likes what I write. And I already post my updates in LJ, but thank you so much for offering. :D You´re far too kind!

**Abriluxca** – Thank you! I hope you liked this chapter too. See u in the next one!

**RoxieCullen454** – Thank you soooooooo much sweety! You know your opinion is the most important one for me! :) heh, I´m writing down all my traumas with their personalities, you know. :P For me it´s interesting that duality in Bella. A part of her being a little angry for how her life is changing, and the other one loving Edward too much. It´s a lot of fun to write them like this!

**Luluminara** – It´s ok, girl. :) I understand that sometimes there is no time. I just want to know every now and then that my readers are still there.

**mrscullenxo5** – Hahaha, I hope the loving in this chapter is enough. If not, well, you will have smut in the next one so… :P Thank you so much for your kind words.

**Chris** – Thanks, as long as my readers are still there, I will be too.

**newdawn4bella** – Thank you so much, sweety! I don´t want to give up, believe me. I love this story. And well, as you have read there´s smut in the next chapter. Lol.

**momof2jcs** – Thank you! :) You will see soon enough. :P

**Miss Ella 609 **– Awww, thank you so much. I appreciate a lot that you took the time for leaving 2 reviews! You´re far too sweet. [hugs] hhahah, believe me, she will freak out sometimes. It´s too much, too fast.

**Melissa** – Thank you! Your words were too sweet. Thanks to YOU for reading and reviewing.

**please continue** – lol. I love the nickname you choose. xDD I will continue, I promise. As long as someone reads me, I will be here.

**StephanieSwanCullen** – Thanks! Here´s the update. Hope you like it!


	9. Chapter 8

**Hi hi, my readers. :D Thank you so much for your reviews. I hope you´re enjoying this fanfic. Well, there will not be so much more chapters, maybe 5 or 6. After this chapter the good-angst stuff begins. BUAHAHAHA.**

**BEWARE! THIS CHAPTER IS SMUTTY! IT HAS SEX SCENES SO IF YOU DON´T LIKE THAT OR YOU´RE TOO YOUNG, PLEASE DON´T READ IT. It´s quite light, so I think we can say the rating is PG15 or so. :P**

**THANKS to Rosanna for all her work even when she´s busy. Your sweetness encourages me to keep writing. Thank you so much for being my beta and sharing funny mails with me. I hope you have luck in your new university. Any problem just tell me and I will send a crazy thirsty Jasper to kill them all and to comfort you! Love! Love! Love!**

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

**CHAPTER 8**

**Bella PoV**

Our lives were simple in an amazing way. There was something breathtaking about having Edward there every day. It made me feel safe, and it helped me realize that I could live a normal life without succumbing to the blood lust. Of course, sometimes I wanted human blood. Needed it. Animal blood wasn´t enough and the desire to go back to my old diet was so strong that there were times when Edward had to hug me for hours before the tremors stopped.

No one said it would be easy. But no one said it would be this hard either. I wanted to forget about this new path, about everything around me and just bite on warm skin hard enough to taste the coppery sweetness of human blood.

Every time those doubts came to my mind, Edward seemed to see it and talked to me for hours. We shared our pasts as if this was our first meeting. He told me about his mistakes, his dark years, his sins and how he was able to remember every person he killed. I told him about the confusion, the sadness and the thirst that always was a part of me.

It was funny to see how the time flew when we were talking. Only when we heard Elisabeth getting up and making her breakfast did we realize that it was morning. A new day, a new hope.

When the sun was up I felt stupid. It was weird. After some hours talking with him nothing was so bad. The memories of my weakness ashamed me, but Edward gave me a compassionate, sweet smile and I knew it was ok. He understood my weak side because he had one too.

I was amazed at how two weeks could change someone´s life so drastically. I had love, a new family and a future that would forgive me for all my sins. Until now I never realized how much my life style was hurting me. It wasn´t as if I didn´t miss it sometimes. As I said, it was hard to forget a life of freedom to accept feeding only on animal blood. But freedom is not always as good as it is supposed to be.

I guess that having a clean conscience was worth the sacrifice.

When my thirst was controlled and we hunted enough for me to not feel tempted we went to Vancouver to see his family. The Cullens were moving to their new house, and they were busy. It was easier for us to go there, but of course, Elisabeth insisted time and time again on staying and telling them that they could come to our house anytime.

x.x.x.x.x

**Edward PoV**

Today we would see my family for the second time since we found Bella. The first time was nice, but quite uncomfortable for Bella. She was embarrassed about how my family would react when they knew that we were together. Or at least trying to be.

She was silly, and I told her so. My family was happy. Well, to be sincere we didn´t have to say a thing about our relationship. As soon as we entered the new house – bought the day before and still unfurnished – hand in hand, everyone smiled in their normal oh-so-subtle way.

"_And we thought they were fast the first time they met. Teenagers, always so horny." _Emmett had joked, scaring Bella for a moment. She was so embarrassed that I almost could see a blush coloring her cheeks.

This time she was calmer and somewhat enthusiastic about our visit. Her friendship with Alice was built almost as fast as our relationship. What surprised me was how she and Jasper connected too. It wasn´t friendship, not yet, but when I saw Jasper smiling at her, commenting about some books, I knew they would be friends soon. Alice realized it too, and it´s not even necessary to say how overjoyed she was.

I felt her hand on top of mine and saw a soft smile on her face when the house appeared in front of us. It was nice to be here, to see my family. Not that I didn´t like being with Elisabeth and Bella, but I missed my family too.

Quickly we went to the door, finding it open as always. It didn´t matter where we lived, the front door was always open. Thinking about it, no one would enter our house. And if they did, well, they would learn how stupid they were.

"Carlisle? Esme?" I asked, surprised by the silence in the house. "Alice?" I tried to hear where they were. Maybe, I thought, they were hunting in the forest.

"Look." Bella said waving a yellow post-it that she found in the living room. I walked to her and soon recognized Alice´s writing.

"_Hi lovey-dovey couple,_

_Carlisle and Esme need to sign some papers_

_in Ottawa and the rest of us decided to go along._

_You two have the house for yourselves. Behave!_

_PS: Your bedroom is ready. I hope you don´t mind_

_that Esme and I decided to decorate it._

_Alice."_

"It´s weird that they left knowing that we´re coming to see them. It must be something important." Bella said and I smiled. Of course, she didn´t remember how Alice is. My poor innocent Bella. This was a plan of my sister, maybe a plan of all the members of my family. It was so evident that I had to bite my bottom lip to stop laughing.

"Yes. Really weird."

"Why are you smiling?" she asked confused.

"It´s nothing. Let´s go see the room. I´m curious."

"Oh, of course."

I took her hand in mine and went to the room that would be mine, or ours, sometime in the future. We didn´t talk about our future yet, and I didn´t want to coerce her. Our relationship was developing quite fast, and I was grateful for that, but for some reason I had the feeling that she would be scared if we started talking about our future, where we would live and things like that. Especially since I knew she didn´t want to leave Elisabeth. Of course, I understood that. She was everything Bella had for a long time. The only thing she had.

Both of us stopped in front the door. Bella waiting for me to open it, me scared of what I would find there. Taking an unnecessary breath I gathered all my courage and opened it.

What I saw then took my breath away.

It was a perfect combination of my old room and a lot of things that always reminded me of my relationship with Bella, things that I had hidden in a box some years ago because it hurt me to see them.

The bed I bought for her to sleep in my old room was in the center of this room, against the wall opposite to the big windows. The small sofa where we used to lay down and listen to music was against the left wall. Bella´s old rocking chair was in the corner by the bookcase – Charlie gave Alice some of Bella´s belongings when we moved out of Forks, wanting her to have something to remember Bella by, as if it was necessary – where my diaries and some of Bella´s books were. But what I liked the most were all the frames decorating every wall. They had photos of us.

It was like being inside a photograph album of our past together. It didn´t matter where I looked, there was a photo of us. Always together and smiling. Sometimes shyly, but mostly happily.

"This… They are photos of us, right?" she asked me surprised and with a touch of confusion in her voice.

"Yes, that they are. You never liked to have photos taken, but now I´m grateful to Alice and Esme for being so obsessed about having those mementos."

She nodded absently and roamed around the room looking at each frame. My eyes followed her every move. I wanted to see her feelings in her face, to see if she remembered something by looking at them. Surprise, confusion and shy happiness were all that I could see.

"Alice and I were friends back then too, right?" she asked while looking at one of Alice hugging her while I laughed at my childish sister. "I wanted to see her."

"I promise I will contact them and we will come back when they are home." I moved closer to her until her back was touching my chest, and my arms went around her waist.

"It´s ok. I like to spend time with you. Alone."

"I like that too." I kissed her neck softly, enjoying the warmth of her body pressed against mine. "I´m happy for having you with me, my love."

"And I´m happy that you found me."

Her hands laid on mine – that were over her navel – and our fingers entwined immediately. She moved even closer, pressing every soft curve of her body against mine. Our breathing became shallow and my mouth explored her neck, enjoying the warmth.

It was as if my body had not enough of her. Every millimeter of my skin needed hers. A sudden fire was burning me alive and I wanted to be consumed. Every second more heated than the one before, awakening ourselves to this passion that was making us forget about our innocent talk.

Soon, my lips were caressing every pore of her neck´s skin. She tasted so good that I couldn´t stop myself. She didn´t tempt me anymore. Well, that was a lie. Her blood didn´t tempt me anymore, but her body… Oh God, her body was like a voice calling me all the time. That all-consuming temptation made me use the tip of my tongue to taste her sweetness. I was so lost in my desire that her shiver took me by surprise. Maybe I was moving too fast, maybe this was a mistake, but I was praying it was not.

"Please," I begged, "tell me this is not a mistake."

"I want you. I want you so bad." She replied to my plea with a husky voice that made me shiver too. I was lost, no more control, because if she did want this, there wouldn´t be a force strong enough to make me stop.

Those words were like fuel for my inner fire. Soft lazy caresses turned into a desperate desire of knowing each other´s bodies. She turned around and I happily welcomed her lips with mine. That first contact made me feel dizzy and excited, everything was spinning around me and she was my anchor to reality. Her hands in my hair, my hands in her lower back, our chests touching time and time again when our respirations became pants resonating in the room.

She tasted so sweet that I doubted if this was gluttony and not lust. I wanted to devour her, and for the first time that thought didn´t scare me.

This new feeling was tickling and overheating me. My whole body trembled deliciously every time her lips danced over mine and my tongue played with hers. This freedom was amazing.

Little by little our kisses became more heated and soon I realized that my mind was acting by its own will, making me take her in my arms for one second before I put her on the bed. There, with her wild hair, her dark lusty eyes and those red wet lips Bella was temptation made flesh and bone. Never in all my life – human or not – did I want something or someone as much as I wanted her right now.

"Edward." She whispered my name and it sounded like a purr that made me shiver. She looked at me with the melted charcoal of her eyes, with the darkest and most impure color of the world. She was just as lost in her lust as I was lost in mine. We were two beasts with only one need: to devour each other until only one was left. One body made of two halves.

With my body hovering over hers, I used one of my hands to play with the hem of her shirt. My lips were already near her jaw, close enough to let her feel my heat but not touching her yet. This border we were trespassing was new for both of us. So exciting that I wanted to take my time.

Bella was still looking at me, not saying a word, but it wasn´t necessary. The way her eyes became wide when my hand moved slowly between the fabric of her shirt and the waist of her pants was enough. I caressed the tender flesh around her hip bones and it felt like an electric shock. She gasped for breath. I growled lustfully.

"Bella." Her name in my lips. Honey and heat.

With slow torture she drew random patterns in my shoulders, descending by my arms only to ascend once more. It was then when her nails caressed the back of my neck and my eyes closed immediately.

"I love you." She said and I looked at her amazed by the soft look in her eyes.

"I love you. More than anyone."

While those words of love left my mouth I moved my hand to her ribs, using my fingertips to tickle her. A new purr made me lose track of my joyful travel. Everything was too intense, so deep that her heat formed inside of my own body.

We were ice. But when we touched we melted away.

Using that speed that still surprised me, Bella changed our positions. Now, I was the one on the bed – sitting against the headboard – and she was sitting astride my hips. I wasn´t able to say a word because she kissed me once more. So ardently that it seemed as if the world would melt away with us and she wanted it to disappear.

I didn´t doubt, I wanted to feel her, to have her skin against mine. So I took a hold of her shirt and ripped it away. Bella laughed in my mouth and that sound vibrated in my palate, but the idea must have been good, because she did the same thing with mine. Soon her chest was pressed against mine, but it wasn´t enough. There was still some fabric between us and I hated it. I hated the skin that separated us.

But I would fix that soon. It was ok; we had all the time in the world to explore each other´s bodies. For now, I was happy. With her act she showed me that she had no doubts about this. She wanted me.

That encouragement was enough to let me know that I could do whatever I wanted. Feeling brave I cupped one of her breasts, enjoying how tender and soft it was. I always loved how thin but curvy she was.

"Ahhh." She moaned with a low voice.

I needed to hear that voice again. Drawing circles with the fingertip of my index finger I went to her nipple. Caressing, squeezing and grazing. I was driving her crazy. It was evident by the way her mouth was always half-open in an incomplete moan.

In the exact moment that I felt her nails brushing against my sides and her teeth biting my earlobe I used my other hand to cup her left breast. This was a battle, one that neither of us wanted to lose. Like this, with this intensity, this passion and this devotion, it was hard to think about something that wasn´t pleasure and desire.

Somewhere inside of me, between my chest and my stomach, a funny feeling was spreading. It wasn´t tickles, or sparkles. It was like a festival of fireworks. Fire and gunpowder exploding with different colors. I wanted this feeling to continue forever.

"I love you." I repeated once more because it never was enough.

Sweetly I put my right hand on her cheek, making her look at me. Even if it wasn´t necessary the gentleman inside of me wanted her permission. It was time to lose all the clothes that were separating us. Naked, as if we were alpha and omega, the beginning of the world and its first creatures. That´s what I wanted.

She nodded at the question in my eyes, and I smiled at her suddenly shy appearance. It didn´t take too much time. In a few seconds we freed ourselves of those barriers.

"You´re so beautiful." I purred in her ear, letting my lips graze her earlobe and making her shiver between my arms. "You´re so beautiful that it hurts." My head went to her naked chest, wishing to hear a heart that died a long time ago. But if I closed my eyes, it almost was as if I could still hear it.

Pum. Pum.

Pum. Pum.

Pum. Pum.

It was a ghost. I couldn´t see it, but I could feel it. I wished for her to feel mine too, to make her understand that maybe my heart was dead too, but for her there were times when I could feel it beating.

The skin between her breasts was like cotton candy under my cheek. My lips kissed it with the strong desire of having that taste in my mouth forever. Time and time again I kissed her there. She trembled each time and I loved to know how I made her feel.

All that time Bella´s hands seemed to be everywhere. It was as if she never stopped. My hair, my neck, my shoulders, my back, my sides, my arms … she caressed me with such a passion and worship that sometimes my hands forgot what they were doing. But it never was for a long time. As soon as I realized it, my revenge was sweet. Kisses turned into licks, and licks turned into soft bites.

"Edward." She moaned. "Edward." And this time I felt her nails digging in my back the second after I put my lips around her nipple. My hands in her back pressed her more against my mouth, and the wetness of my tongue drew all the pink skin of her areola.

I was so lost in the pleasure of torturing her like this, that I was surprised by her hands taking a hold of my wrists to allow her to move away. The confusion didn´t last long. Her playful dark eyes and naughty smile told me that I would like what was coming next.

And that I did.

We both moved a little bit until our bodies lay side to side. Her index finger drew a curvy path from my collarbone to my hipbone and I growled – although it sounded more like a purr – when her finger was replaced with her tongue. I must admit that I wasn´t able to think after that. I was lying there, letting her play with my body. The only thing I was able to do was touch her hair.

Her tongue left shiny wet paths that she erased with ardent kisses. She roamed around my body freely, but her attentions were centering lower than I expected. My navel, my lower belly, my hipbone and then…

"Oh God." I screamed when her lips closed around me. "Bella you don´t… you don´t… oh God…"

Her movements were shy and inexperienced, but all the same pleasurable. That little movement of her tongue around the head was driving me crazy. I moaned, and purred, and panted, and I don´t know what some of those sounds were. The only thing I knew was that the wet heat of her mouth was like heaven and hell. Painful pleasure that hurt me sweetly.

"Bella… oh my … love."

"Mmmm." That sound vibrated around me, and that didn´t help me to control myself.

"Please… Please… stop." She ignored me. "Please, Bella… stop." And this time she looked at me. With a last torturing lick she moved away a little, and smiled shyly at me. "You will be the death of me." I told her, surprised by how breathless my voice sounded even when I didn´t need to breathe.

"Sorry. You taste so… good."

I sighed trying to control my thoughts. She was making it hard for me, and it was hard enough. I took a hold of her hair to make her come to me. I wanted to kiss her, I needed it so bad. She was everything for me, everything and maybe more, because I never imagined that someone would make me feel so alive, so aware of human pleasures.

Patience was never my biggest virtue. I wanted to be inside of her. Now. But after what she did for me, I wanted to make sure that she was as ready as I was for her. Taking advantage of that kiss, I put my hand between her legs, making her yelp at my touch.

"Mmmmmdward." She whispered in my mouth.

I was surprised by how wet she was already. But it didn´t matter. I wanted to torture her a little bit. This was our first time together, and even if I hadn´t patience enough to do all the things that I always dreamt about, I wanted to do this.

I wetted one of my fingers with her wetness and started playing. First, soft touches, teasing her. I loved how she squirmed trying to feel more, to press herself against my fingers. It excited me to feel her panting on my lips, and to see the way her black lusty eyes sparkled for a second when I touched her. We never broke eye contact. And that made it even hotter.

By now, she was under me, with her legs wide open and our faces at the same level. I enjoyed this; I loved to see her so lost in our passion that no one would say that it was our first time. No shyness, no shame. Only passion and lust.

When the soft touches weren´t enough, I pinched her knot of nerves until she screamed my name so loud that I wished that everyone knew that I was making her mine. Mine, and mine alone. Forever.

Slow movements, playful pinches and her hips moved crazily under me. The friction of our bodies tortured me too, and the realization of what was coming next made me shiver.

It was time to end the preliminaries.

No more games.

"I want you." I told her, looking at her eyes to let her see how true my words were. "I need you."

"Please." That was her only answer, but we both understood it.

I kissed her forehead, the skin between her eyebrows, the tip of her nose – which made her giggle - her lips and her jaw. And when I kissed her enough to be sure that she understood how important this was for me, I put my forehead against her and talked again.

"It doesn´t matter what the future brings. You were, are and will be mine forever. You are everything I need, and the only thing I want. You're the part of me that allows me to keep living. I´m nothing without you. I can´t live without you. Do you understand how deep my love for you is?"

"Yes, I…"

"Don´t say a word. I know you understand. I only wanted you to know that nothing will separate me from you anymore. You´re mine."

And with those last words I entered her little body. So thin but always so strong. So warm even when she was supposed to be cold. So amazingly loving even when she couldn´t remember me. She was the sweetest duality in my world.

We both moaned at the feeling of being full. Full of that feeling that always was there but never was this powerful. Not because our relationship was physical now, but because we were together in the most intimate way.

Her wet heat surrounded me, so tight, so hot, so soft. To be inside of her was heaven. I moved, once, twice, … slowly at first, then faster and faster until we both moved in a fluid movement. Our bodies crashed, and fought for the pleasure that was building inside of us.

There were too many things increasing the feeling. Her thighs around my waist, her feet touching the back of my thighs, her breasts moving up and down with every thrust, her face marked by the shared lust, the tender skin over hard hipbones that I could feel under my hands.

"Mmmm harder… please… harder…" she pleaded and I obeyed.

"You feel … so… good. You´re the… hottest… sweetest… sin." I moaned.

Love and lust were a mix that made me unable to hear her after that. My own ecstasy made the room spin around me. That weird, but nice, feeling inside of me was becoming stronger with every thrust. I was so close that I wanted to be sure that she finished with me.

One of my hands left her hipbone and went between our bodies. It didn´t take more than two touches and Bella screamed my name while all her body trembled. The feeling of her inner muscles around me was enough to make me finish too.

All the knots in my stomach disappeared like magic and my body became a puddle of goo. I fell on top of her, trying to remember how to control my own body and giving her lazy wet kisses on the neck.

"Forget what I said about you being the death of me. I´m glad that I´m immortal. I want to repeat this for all eternity." I joked and she pinched my side playfully.

I moved away, just enough to lie down on my back, letting her put her head in my shoulder and her leg over my thighs.

"I wish I could read your mind right now."

"You´re easy to please. Ask me whatever you want to know." She smiled sweetly when I put my arms around her waist.

"I wasn´t talking about that. I wish I could read your mind. I wish I could see everything."

"Maybe, I could grant you your wish."

"How? That´s impossible. Believe me, love, I already tried."

"If I want to, I can allow you to read my mind. Just like I can expand my shield, I can make it disappear for short periods of time. But…"

"But?" I asked, suddenly excited about the idea of being able to read the only mind that always was a secret for me, the only mind that I really wanted to read. Her mind was always a mystery that I wanted to solve.

"But I will need some persuading." Her smile changed into something naughty, playful. She made it too easy for me. What a nice price to pay.

**TBC…**

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Well, this was longer than the previous ones, right? I thought I would die writing this. It was a hard chapter for me. I´m doubting if I should write another smutty chapter in the future (in this fanfic), so I would like to know your opinions. Smut yes or smut no?

Sorry, I have no time to reply all your sweet reviews! _ But you should know that I love all of them, and my mom needs them as a proof that I´m not crazy because out there there´s more people like me. xD

Love!


	10. author note 2

FIRST, I´m really sorry for the delay. It´s 100% my fault, but life

is crazy those days and I had not time to write the next chapter. I got

myself a boyfriend (hi there, my own Edward) and today I had a trip to hell.

My cat died after some days of suffering a lot. The trip to the vet was really

really bad so I wasn´t in mood to write. And to add distractions to this I have

been writting a Jaspella, soooo...

I promise and swear that I will write the next chapter and send it to my beta as

soon as it is finished. Once more, sorry for the delay. U_U

PS - I recieved 2 complaints about the smutty chapter. Really, I understand, but

I already warned you that there was smut, so you were free to not read that chapter.

It´s my fanfic, after all. I don´t mean to be bitchy. But I don´t accept complaints

about something that I warned you about.

All my love and thanks for my readers. I promise to write fast!


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